The Power of Words. Handling a lot of proper names in a story

2/18/98
Tips on handling a lot of proper names in a story

      What happens when you have too many proper names in a story?
       Eliminate middle initials. (Just kidding.) Figure out which characters are really central to the story. List the others at the end if it's really a must (as in a crime story). Otherwise eliminate some.
       More than two names per sentence are confusing. Re-identify the person if it's been a while since the initial identification. Or make the point without names.
       If you really need them, a list is sometimes the least painful treatment. We sometimes forget that a list is a story-telling technique, too. Maybe a sidebar or section of the story can be set aside to introduce all the players: "The police officers at the scene were...'' with bullets and a sentence on each one. Sometimes that gets them out of the way of your writing.
       If you're writing a narrative based on accounts from several sources, list them in a single attribution paragraph: "Based on interviews from John Doe, Jane Smith, and Homer Simpson, the nuclear meltdown began when....'' Further attribution can then be kept to a minimum.
       Try using a person's role, rather than name, for second reference: "The prosecutor said...''
       Don't front-load the story, no matter what. What is the minimum the reader needs to know early-on? Group the names, titles and similar stuff deeper in the story where it most goes with the flow of the reader's understanding and where it will be mostly easily retrieved if the reader needs to look back.
       Seek a common denominator that will allow you to use a collective noun such as "the family members,'' "the city officials,'' "neighbors,'' etc. You can start to weave in some names by using quotes. Inevitably you will encounter some stories where for some reason everyone's name has to be included. In such cases, don't scatter names in a confusing way throughout the story.
       Instead, find your collective noun. Use names only when they are attached to quotes. At the end of the story, list the names with a clear flag for the reader, such as "other state officials who came to bid farewell were:''.

Previous editions | About The Providence Journal's Writing Program | E-mail us | Writing-related Web links | Back to main