01:00 AM EDT on Sunday, April 17, 2005

Susan Elliott and Koko Sou

Aspray Boat House, Warwick

10.22.04

"I'm not even sure how we began dating," says Susan Elliott. "It was June 2001." Susan was 25 years old. She and Koko Sou, a close friend of a cousin, had known each other for 9 years. "But we had never even considered dating -- he is three years younger than me.

"Koko called nightly at my grandmother's house, where I lived, to play Scrabble with her," continues Susan. It wasn't long until she was looking forward to Koko's arrival each evening. "Then, one day, when driving to a Christmas party, thinking of which friend I should introduce Koko to, it hit me -- I had a crush on Koko! I was stunned and uncomfortable -- certainly he would not feel the same way. But, after two weeks, I learned that he did. And, within three weeks, I was naming our children."

Susan, now 28, is an associate product manager for Macy's Merchandising Group in Manhattan. After graduating from the University of Massachusetts, she attended the University of Rhode Island for a master's degree in business administration.

Koko, 25, also a URI graduate, works as an account executive at Ricoh Corporation in Manhattan.

Their weddings -- for there are actually two of them -- will consume the better part of two days: The Khmer ceremony on Friday, followed by an American ceremony on Saturday, in the same Lutheran church that Susan's sister, mother, and grandmother married in.

A Khmer wedding, rife with ritual, traditionally lasts three days and three nights. Three is considered an auspicious number by Cambodians because of its association with the 'three jewels" of Buddhism. "We are shortening this to one accelerated day," says Susan. Throughout the day, she will make five wardrobe changes.

The celebration begins at 9 o'clock in the morning, with the groom's processional -- Hai Koan Komloh. Led by Cambodian musicians, Koko proceeds across the parking lot of the Aspray Boat House, accompanied by friends and family bearing platters of fruits, desserts, and a duck. Susan stands in the doorway to welcome her bridegroom.

Gaat Sah is an elaborate ritual in which the devada (gods who watch over the mortal realms) cleanse and purify the bride and groom to bring them good fortune, beauty, and grace. Parents and married guests are invited to symbolically cut the hair of Susan and Koko, representing a fresh start to their relationship.

Ancestors are called upon, flowers are presented to the parents, guests are invited to tie ribbons around the wrists of the bride and groom as gongs are sounded, monks arrive to confer their blessings.

But perhaps the most touching ritual is Bongvul Po Pil, in which a candle is passed from guest to guest, with each guest sweeping the smoke of the flame toward Susan and Koko. The appropriate chant: Mun ouy laing leah, min ouy prort preah. Do not separate, do not part ways. The smoke will protect the couple from all evil if they are sincerely committed to each other.