EDITOR'S NOTE: This is part of an occasional series on Sports Parenting in which we will explore the many challenges faced by families involved in youth athletics.

Considering a transfer when his high school basketball career wasn’t going as planned, Dan Doyle received some invaluable advice from Lester “Buster” Sheary, one of New England’s all-time great college basketball coaches.

Sheary persuaded Doyle to follow through on the commitment that the young teen had already made to the program he was with, concluding the conversation by saying: “Stay where you are, stop whining, stay focused, and things will be fine!”

When Doyle attempted to thank Sheary for helping him put things in perspective, he says the coach replied: “Thank me by doing the same thing for kids when you’re an adult.”

The executive director of the Institute for International Sport, which recently hosted the U.S. Scholar-Athlete Games at the University of Rhode Island, took Sheary’s words to heart, compiling all that he has learned as an athlete, coach, parent of athletes and educator into his recently released book, The Encyclopedia of Sports Parenting.

“It’s such a consuming topic, and really it’s a societal issue,” said Doyle, who co-wrote the book with fellow Bates College classmate Deborah Doermann Burch. “Good sports parents contribute to a positive and civil society. It goes beyond medals. It’s a big issue.”

When Doyle first sat down to write the book nine years ago, he figured it would take him about a year to complete. At more than 400 pages, it turned out to be twice as long as he anticipated, and Doyle now plans to make it the first book of a three-volume series.

“The more I got into it, I almost felt an obligation to spend more time and really try to help parents to develop a coherent philosophy that can help them deal with a lot of issues,” said Doyle, who has developed a wealth of knowledge through his own experience as well as through ongoing discussions with players, coaches and athletic administrators at every level throughout the country. “If you develop a reasoned philosophy, it will help you be more discerning when you have a problem. So one of the things I hope the book will do for those who read it is that it will cause parents to step back and make reasoned judgments, rather than knee jerk decisions, which is really a problem.”

In addition to promoting physical fitness, sports - if kept in the proper perspective – can instill the all-important values of honesty, self reliance, self control, perseverance, respect, empathy, teamwork, tolerance and moral courage, Doyle writes in his book.

Mothers and fathers can help ensure that their children have a positive sports experience by adopting “a values-based sports parenting philosophy” using what Doyle terms an “anchor/aspiration approach to child rearing,” in which the child’s aspirations are placed at the top of a pyramid with “character development” and “training the mind” serving as the anchors.

“The fast train of athletic success and entitlement thrusts many athletes into a corrosive cycle of neglecting appropriate character and/or academic development,” he writes.

“The two anchors provide the critical foundational support; they are the building blocks upon which a child’s development rests. The top athlete or flutist deficient in one of the two anchor categories will face serious problems. The top athlete or flutist deficient in both anchor categories will face very serious problems.”

The Encyclopedia of Sports Parenting further discusses the parents’ role in terms of how to conduct themselves at their children’s games, when and when not to intervene, and whether or not mothers and fathers are cut out to coach their children’s teams.

The book also addresses some of the challenges that come with playing sports, including what to do when your child gets cut from a team, has to play for a difficult coach, or becomes frustrated and wants to quit.

Other sections touch on medical issues, the college recruiting process and how to use sports to develop leadership skills and good sportsmanship.

Although Doyle offers his expert advice about many of the issues, he also poses a series of questions that parents should ask themselves and their children so that they can make the best decision for their particular situation.

He devotes considerable space to the hot topic of travel teams, for example, suggesting that parents do plenty of research before deciding whether their child should play on one. Some things Doyle says they should ponder:

* Based upon your child’s level of interest, skill level and maturity, is he or she ready to handle the time commitment and demands of a travel team? Or is the caliber of play offered by local and school leagues high enough that your child can be sufficiently challenged without needing to go outside the region?

* Have you gotten feedback from other families whose children have played for the team in question to find out what they think of the coach’s style and how he or she runs the travel team?

* League and tournament fees, uniform and equipment costs, coach’s pay and travel expenses associated with a travel team can add up quickly. Can your family’s budget handle the additional financial burden?

Doyle concludes his chapter on travel teams by saying: “Who makes the final decision? You do. You must judge both your child’s readiness and your ability to handle the logistics. If your child makes the cut, really wants to play for a travel team, and the commitment looks manageable, agree to a ‘test season’ and go from there.”

Ultimately, Doyle says he considers himself to be a counselor: “I’ll give you the advice, but then you’ve got to figure it out.”

In the upcoming second volume of the Encyclopedia, Doyle plans to address such topics as sports specialization, performance-enhancing drugs, more on sportsmanship and fan behavior, parenting the middle school-age athlete and the college athlete, as well as issues faced by children with various physical and emotional challenges.

Through the third volume, which will be entitled "The Master Coach," Doyle says he hopes to raise the standard of coaching by helping individuals clearly develop a philosophy on such issues as sportsmanship, gamesmanship, the intellectual and character development of athletes and helping players gain a competitive edge that goes beyond sports.

cthorn@projo.com / (401) 277-7340