EDITOR’S NOTE: This is part of an occasional series on Sports Parenting in which we will explore the many challenges faced by families involved in youth athletics.

Considering a transfer when his high school basketball career wasn’t going as planned, Dan Doyle received some invaluable advice from Lester “Buster” Sheary, one of New England’s all-time great college basketball coaches.

Sheary persuaded Doyle to follow through on the commitment that the young teen had already made to the program, concluding the conversation by saying: “Stay where you are, stop whining, stay focused, and things will be fine!”

When Doyle attempted to thank Sheary for helping him put things in perspective, he says the coach replied: “Thank me by doing the same thing for kids when you’re an adult.”

The executive director of the Institute for International Sport, which this week hosted the U.S. Scholar-Athlete Games at the University of Rhode Island, took Sheary’s words to heart, compiling all that he has learned as an athlete, coach, parent of athletes and educator into his recently released book, The Encyclopedia of Sports Parenting.

“It’s such a consuming topic, and really it’s a societal issue,” said Doyle, who cowrote the book with fellow Bates College classmate Deborah Doermann Burch. “Good sports parents contribute to a positive and civil society. It goes beyond medals. It’s a big issue.”

When Doyle first sat down to write the book nine years ago, he figured it would take him about a year to complete. At more than 400 pages, it turned out to be twice as long as he anticipated, and Doyle now plans to make it the first book of a three-volume series.

“The more I got into it, I almost felt an obligation to spend more time and really try to help parents to develop a coherent philosophy that can help them deal with a lot of issues,” said Doyle, who has acquired a wealth of knowledge through his own experiences as well as through ongoing discussions with players, coaches and athletic administrators at every level throughout the country. “If you develop a reasoned philosophy, it will help you be more discerning when you have a problem. So one of the things I hope the book will do for those who read it is that it will cause parents to step back and make reasoned judgments, rather than knee-jerk decisions, which is really a problem.”

In addition to promoting physical fitness, sports — if kept in the proper perspective — can instill the all-important values of honesty, self-reliance, self-control, perseverance, respect, empathy, teamwork, tolerance and moral courage, Doyle writes in his book.

Mothers and fathers can help ensure their children have a positive sports experience by adopting “a values-based sports parenting philosophy” using what Doyle terms an “anchor/aspiration approach to child rearing,” in which the child’s aspirations are placed at the top of a pyramid with “character development” and “training the mind” serving as the anchors.

“The fast train of athletic success and entitlement thrusts many athletes into a corrosive cycle of neglecting appropriate character and/or academic development,” he writes.

“The two anchors provide the critical foundational support; they are the building blocks upon which a child’s development rests. The top athlete or flutist deficient in one of the two anchor categories will face serious problems. The top athlete or flutist deficient in both anchor categories will face very serious problems.”

The Encyclopedia of Sports Parenting further discusses the parents’ role in terms of how to conduct themselves at their children’s games, when and when not to intervene and whether or not mothers and fathers are cut out to coach their children’s teams.

The book also addresses some of the challenges that come with playing sports, including what to do when your child gets cut from a team, has to play for a difficult coach, or becomes frustrated and wants to quit.

Other sections touch on medical issues, the college recruiting process and how to use sports to develop leadership skills and good sportsmanship.

Although Doyle offers his expert advice about many of the issues, he also poses a series of questions that parents should ask themselves and their children so that they can make the best decision for their particular situation.

He concludes his chapter on travel teams, for example, by saying: “Who makes the final decision? You do. You must judge both your child’s readiness and your ability to handle the logistics. If your child makes the cut, really wants to play for a travel team, and the commitment looks manageable, agree to a ‘test season’ and go from there.”

Ultimately, Doyle says he considers himself to be a counselor: “I’ll give you the advice, but then you’ve got to figure it out.”

cthorn@projo.com