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Families with ailing babies share a special Thanksgiving meal

01:00 AM EST on Friday, November 24, 2006

By Jennifer D. Jordan

Journal Staff Writer

Jacquelin Bliss and Richard Terry, of Providence, attend yesterday’s dinner at Gracie’s restaurant. Their son, Michael Edward, was born seven weeks premature, on Nov. 6. With them is Donavyn Bliss-Williams, 11, Jacquelin’s brother.

THE PROVIDENCE JOURNAL / Connie Grosch

Richard Terry, of Providence, shows off his newborn, Edward Michael, born weighing 3 pounds, 7 ounces.

PROVIDENCE JOURNAL / Connie Grosch

Dan and Stephanie Marshall, of Westerly, get a holiday helping yesterday at Gracie’s restaurant. “It’s nice to have a Thanksgiving meal with people who have a child in the NICU,” Dan Marshall said. “They are going through what we are, so it sort of feels like a family meal.”

THE PROVIDENCE JOURNAL / Connie Grosch

Chef Joseph Hafner, left, Tori Schumacher and sous chef Joey Gracyalny work in the kitchen. All volunteered to help with yesterday’s meal.

THE PROVIDENCE JOURNAL / Connie Grosch

PROVIDENCE

The four families at the candlelit table yesterday barely knew one another. Most in the gathering had met just moments before sitting down.

But sharing a Thanksgiving meal this year felt right.

The Bliss family of Providence, the Marshalls of Westerly, the Marin-Quintero family of Central Falls, and the Portillos of Providence, each have the newest members of their clans in the neonatal intensive care unit at Women & Infants Hospital – the unit that cares for premature and sick babies.

For Stephanie and Dan Marshall, the Thanksgiving feast hosted by Gracie’s restaurant in downtown Providence gave them not only a chance to enjoy fine food, but a place to digest the news they had received from doctors just 48 hours earlier, when Stephanie gave birth to their first child, a son named Quinn.

Quinn needs a series of operations to correct birth defects in his esophagus, intestine and heart. Wednesday night, doctors performed the first procedure, inserting a tube in the baby’s stomach to prevent liquid and bile from entering Quinn’s lungs.

Today, Quinn is scheduled for surgery on his esophagus, to try to connect it properly to his stomach. More operations will follow to fix Quinn’s birth defects, each with complicated names his parents can already rattle off: the heart defect, tetralogy of Fallot; followup surgeries to fix the baby’s esophageal atresia.

“The news was the worst, especially because for the first one, your focus is on having a healthy baby,” said Dan Marshall, 29, an engineer at Raytheon. “But since then, all the news has been positive, and it’s good to be around people who have had problems with their infants and to hear all of the success stories.”

“It’s nice to have a Thanksgiving meal with people who have a child in the NICU,” he said. “They are going through what we are, so it sort of feels like a family meal.”

Marvi Marin, 33, and Omar Quintero, 42, of Central Falls, have had longer to process the medical needs of their son, Ethan, who was born on Oct. 26 after just 27 weeks of gestation. A full-term pregnancy lasts between 38 and 40 weeks.

Ethan weighed 2 pounds, 11 ounces.

The baby has steadily improved, and now weighs 3 pounds, 4 ounces. The couple hopes to take him home in early January, around what would have been Marin’s full-term due date. Marin visits her son for several hours twice a day, once in the morning and once at night, changing his diaper and feeding him. Leaving him each night is difficult, his parents say. But they were delighted when they saw Ethan shortly before arriving at the restaurant.

“Today, they took out the oxygen tubes,” Marin said. “He is breathing on his own now.”

GRACIE’S RESTAURANT invited the families of the 69 babies in the NICU to a traditional turkey dinner, after one of the owners, Ellen Gracyalny, toured the unit with representatives from the March of Dimes. Through a grant, the March of Dimes helps to sponsor a family support specialist, Jennifer Gagnon, a former NICU nurse who acts as a liaison between the families and the hospital caregivers, and who dined with the families yesterday. The March of Dimes also works to connect the hospital to the larger community by organizing tours.

Gracyalny said she was struck by how many families were visiting babies in the unit. She wanted to be able to offer them a couple of hours of relaxation and good food during the holiday season.

“I remember when my son was born, he was down there [in the NICU] for three days,” Gracyalny said. Her son Aidan, who turns 3 on Dec. 26, was born with fluid in his lungs. “It was just not a good feeling, so I just can’t imagine what it is like for these families.”

She said she plans to host the dinner every year.

A dozen employees of Gracie’s volunteered to prepare and serve the feast of salad, pumpkin bread, turkey, homemade stuffing with fruit and nuts, mashed potatoes, sautéed baby carrots, green beans and Brussels sprouts. The meal was followed by jam-filled cookies and three kinds of pie: apple, pumpkin and pecan. When the families returned to the hospital, the staff planned on sharing their own Thanksgiving meal.

Brendan Roane, a server, convinced his father Stephen Roane, a classical guitarist from Madison, Conn., to drive to Providence with his mother, Margot, and entertain the families with soothing acoustic music.

“Brendan spends a lot of time at the restaurant, so this is like his extended family and it’s nice to share the holiday,” Margot Roane said. “Besides, isn’t this what the holiday season is about, giving?”

FOR THE BLISS FAMILY, the holiday season is also about patience and perseverance. Jacquelin Bliss, 16, gave birth to her son Edward Michael Bliss on Nov. 6, seven weeks before her due date. The baby was 3 pounds, 7 ounces. The baby’s father, Richard Terry, 19, remembers the exact time his son was born: 8:58 p.m.

Jacquelin plans to take Edward home to her mother’s house, once he has gained weight. The baby now weighs 4 pounds.

“I visit him every day, to change his diapers, take his temperature and feed him,” Jacquelin said, as she fiddled with the plastic hospital bracelet that lets her into the intensive care unit. Her son fits in the crook of her arm.

Jacquelin’s mother, Erika Bliss, 35, takes her to visit Edward every day, after her shift as a certified nursing assistant.

“I try to keep her cheered up,” Bliss said.

She wants her daughter to finish high school and said she will find a daycare center for the baby once he is home with them.

The Blisses welcomed the idea of a meal with other families from the NICU. After the meal, Jacquelin’s younger brother, Donavyn Bliss-Williams, 11, grabbed a digital camera and began taking pictures of everyone around the table.

Karla Portillo, 24, whose baby Javier Portillo was born 10 weeks early, on Sept. 28, sat next to Jennifer Gagnon and smiled for a photograph.

Javier was born with defects in his intestine and stomach and had to have his appendix removed. He weighed 3 pounds at birth and now weighs more than 5. Portillo said she hopes, within the next several weeks, to bring him to the home she shares with her boyfriend, William Marin, who was working yesterday.

Several of the servers and chefs from Gracie’s came out to watch the photo shoot and mingle with the families. They packed 20 turkey dinners for the families to take to the nurses at the hospital.

“It’s just a nice idea,” Erika Bliss said. “Everyone here together.”

“It’s just a nice idea. Everyone here together.”

Erika Bliss

“It’s just a nice idea. Everyone here together.”

Erika Bliss