01:00 AM EDT on Saturday, September 25, 2004

Michael Hansen, the psychotherapist hired by the Diocese of Providence to work with people who have been sexually abused as children by people connected with the church, says there are certain codes of conduct that adults working with children should follow.

Generally speaking, he says, there need to be "clear boundaries." In short, it is not appropriate for coaches, teachers, ministers or others to drive with a young person alone in car, nor is it appropriate to go out with that young person on long walks.

While a pat on the shoulder or head may be OK, any other touching would be testing the limits. It is not a good idea to hug, though during a retreat with other people in the room it may be all right if the young person initiates it.

Maintaining boundaries also means that an adult should never send messages to a child by e-mail or call the young person on his or her cell phone, since those are usually used to communicate with peers. If a child needs a ride, and parents are not around, the adult should make every attempt to get another adult to come along.

Hansen says anyone working with children should be alert to possible indicators of sexual abuse.

Hansen says parents and others should sound an alarm if the child seems to have difficulty walking or sitting, has torn, stained or bloody underwear, has itching or bruising in the genital area, develops pre-teen venereal disease or becomes pregnant.

Other indicators might be knowledge of -- or acting out -- bizarre, sophisticated or unusual sexual behavior; withdrawal, fantasy or infantile behavior; and an unwillingness to change for physical education class.

Adults also should watch for inappropriate displays of affection by another adult, who may want to provide gifts and money to a child for no apparent reason or who insists on having time alone with the child.

Hansen notes that under Rhode Island law, anyone who has a reasonable cause to know or suspect that a child has been abused or neglected or has been a victim of sexual abuse -- either by an adult or another child -- has a duty to notify the Department for Children, Youth and Families or an agent who can initiate an immediate investigation.

-- RICHARD C. DUJARDIN