FORT MYERS, Fla. - If Curt Schilling had his way, he would have already undergone surgery to repair the damage in his right biceps and be aiming toward a midseason return.

But Schilling lost his tug-of-war with Red Sox management and is left to hope that the team's more conservative approach -- relying on rest and rehabilitation -- will enable him to pitch again sometime in this, his final season.

``This is where we are,'' said Schilling, speaking to a small group of reporters. ``At the end of the day, I signed a contract with this team, so I have to abide by the rule of the CBA [collective bargaining agreement] and one of the rules is, from a medical standpoint, they're allowed to dictate how and when things are supposed to happen.

``I have to [follow the Sox' direction]; I don't have any choice. If their course of action doesn't work, I don't pitch this year and I may never pitch again. I don't have a choice. I have to just mentally get behind it and do everything I can do to make it work. It certainly isn't the best spot to be in. When you hear `5- and 10-percent' [chance of returning] and `never pitch again,' and those things, I'm disappointed that after 21 years my career might end like this. But it is what it is.''

Schilling's shoulder and biceps injuries date back to last summer, when he missed seven weeks with shoulder weakness. He needed a cortisone shot in October to be able to keep pitching in the postseason, but felt that offseason strengthening would correct the problem.

It didn't, even after he took a longer-than-usual period of rest after the postseason.

``They had a shoulder program outlined that I started to do,'' said Schilling ``I noticed that a couple of weeks into it there were some exercises I was having difficulty doing, so the strengthening part of the program wasn't as complete as it might have been if I was feeling great. I just dismissed that to being 41 and having some mileage. But when I went out to throw in mid-December, it felt like it was August again. It didn't hurt, but it felt crappy. I just told myself that I would give it a couple more weeks and get it stronger.

``But I went out in early January and felt the same, and not long after that I had a throwing session where I just couldn't play catch. When I went home that night, it was painful just laying around. It was aching. I knew that was not a good thing, so I immediately reached out [to the club].''

Angered that some have suggested he duped the Sox into giving him a one-year, $8-mililon deal last fall, Schilling maintained that he operated in good faith with the club.

``Let me be clear -- if some people want to believe this was me taking advantage of the situation financially,'' he said, ``I wouldn't have done it here. I would have done it in at least two other places for $14 million if I was going to sit my [butt] on the DL and collect a paycheck. People are going to believe what they believe. I was heatlhy at the time.

``I went through the physical and I had an MRI at the time as well. I did everything they asked, passed every test they asked me to take and I felt fine.''

While his fellow pitchers go through throwing drills and prepare for the start of the season, Schilling's days are different. He reports to the complex as early as 6 AM and does his rehab work for a few hours before leaving for the day.

It's not what he would prefer to be doing, but for now, it's all he can do.

``The best scenario for me,'' he said, ``is this works in short order, we're allowed to get after it and build up strength, I can get to throwing soon and get out there. I haven't really thought past this first stage of rehab, but I would love to be back by the All-Star break, or before the All-Star break -- as quickly as I can.''

But Schilling also hinted that eventually, he'll be proven correct.

``I think if it's what I believe it to be,'' he said, ``it won't take a long time to get to that place where we realize this [approach] is probably not going to work. It's going to [be shown] with pushing harder physically, which we're not doing right now.''

He continued to laud Dr. Craig Morgan, his Deleware-based orthopedist who has performed two shoulder surgeries on Schilling.

``He was right at every turn,'' said Schilling. ``He's been cutting-edge forever. The shoulder is what he does. So I've always trusted him and his work. [The doctors] disagreed.''

When Schilling re-signed last November, it was with the intension that he would pitch for one more season with a chance to win a fourth title in his final year. Now, everything is uncertain.

``It's not alwasy fair and it doesn't always work out the way I want it to,'' he said. ``I'm going to make the best of every situation I'm put in. I don't want to be a distraction.''

Eventually, Schilling added, he will need surgery on his biceps ``no matter what..if I want to live a pain-free, normal life.''

For now, now, Schilling can't throw a baseball in February. And that's abnormal enough.