The Emperor has no clothes.

But he has a gorilla suit.

The Red Sox have no pitching. And no depth.

Because, it seems, Theo Epstein -- former Boy Genius, now a struggling general manager -- has no clue.

For this year's Halloween costume, Epstein ought to consider swapping his infamous gorilla suit for a clown suit.

It wouldn't be the worst trade the once-seemingly brilliant but now clearly underachieving Red Sox GM has made. And it certainly would be appropriate.

Going into last night's game at Oakland, the Red Sox were a not just disappointing, but truly stunning, three games under .500 against American League teams.

Think about that.

Because of their dazzling 16-2 record in interleague play, it's easy to miss the fact that the struggling Sox, 71-60 prior to Josh Beckett's taking the mound against the A's last night, were only 55-58 against their A.L. rivals.

And that's with the second-highest payroll in major-league baseball.

One of the reasons Pete Carroll was fired as coach of the Patriots, despite never having a losing season, was that the team was in a downward spiral. AFC champions in 1996 before Bill Parcells left New England to coach the Jets, the Pats lost in the conference semifinals in Carroll's first year, in the opening round of the playoffs in 1998, and then went 8-8 in '99.

Epstein's role in the Red Sox' ending 86 years of frustration by winning the World Series in 2004 should not be underestimated, nor, certainly, unappreciated.

But unlike the Patriots, who went on to win three championships in four years between 2001 and 2004, lost in the conference semifinals last year and are favored to win a fourth straight AFC East title this season, the Red Sox are not merely spiraling downward under Epstein's (mis)management.

They're in free fall -- unable to win more than they lose against teams in their own league just two years after winning the World Series, and a year after having been swept by the White Sox in the opening round of the playoffs.

They had lost four in a row heading into last night, 10 of their last 12, and 19 of 27 in what has been a disastrous August.

Spare me, please, the injury excuse. The absence of Jason Varitek and Trot Nixon, while not insignificant, should not have doomed their playoff chances -- which do seem hopeless now that David Ortiz, Manny Ramirez and Jon Lester all have returned to Boston from the West Coast for treatment.

The Sox had serious problems long before they were hit by this latest, devastating array of ailments.

The fact they've long had no bullpen and no bench rests on Epstein's shoulders.

Those who have sipped of Theo's Kool-Aid repeat the misguided mantra that the Sox couldn't make a deal without giving up a young prospect such as Lester, Manny Delcarmen or Craig Hansen.

And it's not as if the moves Epstein has made lately have been remotely close to the signing of Ortiz in 2003, Schilling in 2004, or the gutsy trade of Nomar Garciaparra in August 2004.

Who would you rather see in center field -- Johnny Damon, or Coco Crisp? Theo was a big fan of Julian Tavarez, who has been nothing more than a mop-up man.

Epstein also thought Rudy Seanez would be a key addition after posting a 7-1 record with a 2.69 earned-run average last season in San Diego.

The Red Sox are paying $11 million of Edgar Renteria's salary for Boston's erstwhile shortstop to hit .300 for the Braves.

The Yankees can send seven lefties (including switch-hitters) to the plate, yet the only lefty in the Boston bullpen is journeyman Javier Lopez. In contrast, New York brought in Mike Myers -- remember him? -- to strike out Ortiz in a key situation during the Yankees' recent five-game sweep of the Sox in Fenway.

Epstein recently rewarded Beckett with a contract worth $10 million a year, despite the fact that the right-hander has an E.R.A. of 5.35. He had little choice, considering that Curt Schilling will be 40 in November, David Wells is 43 and fat, and Tim Wakefield is a 40-year-old knuckleballer currently on the disabled list. Don't even mention Matt Clement.

No wonder the Sox were six games behind the Twins -- seven in the loss column -- in the wild-card chase entering last night's play.

And do you ever wonder how Epstein would be perceived if the best closer in baseball history, Mariano Rivera, had done his job in Game Four of the 2004 ALCS, with the Yankees leading the ALCS, three games to none?

A New York sweep then, followed by the White Sox sweep last year, combined with the club's current collapse, and Epstein would need more than a gorilla suit to slip safely out of Boston.

As for what he'll wear this Halloween, Theo will have all of October to think about it.

jdonalds@projo.com / (401) 277-7340