01:00 AM EST on Wednesday, December 15, 2004

"What are you going to write about?" The Boss wanted to know.

"Pedro," I said. "And Charlie, too."

"Both?" he asked, surprise and concern evident in his tone. "You're going to write about both Charlie Weis and Pedro Martinez? In the same column?"

"Yeah," I replied. "Why not?"

"Won't you be distracted?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well," he said, "when you're supposed to be focusing on Pedro, you may get to thinking about Charlie. When you should be concentrating on Charlie, your mind may wander off toward Pedro. You know, kind of like Weis thinking about Notre Dame when he should be thinking about the Patriots, and vice versa."

"What? You don't think I can handle two topics at the same time?"

"I seem to remember," said The Boss, dredging up what, for me, are painful and embarrassing memories, "you tripping and falling that time you tried to walk and chew gum at the same time."

"Yeah, well, if the gum hadn't slipped out of my mouth and stuck to my shoe, which then stuck to the carpet, that never would have happened. It was a fluke."

"Sort of like you writing a good column," I could have sworn I heard The Boss mumble.

"Did you say something?" I asked, displaying my flair for investigative reporting.

"I was just going to say," The Boss declared, "that, while Bill Belichick may not be concerned about Weis being able to handle two jobs at the same time, I have my doubts about you. What, exactly, were you going to say?"

"I was going to say that, if Patriots fans think that, in a crucial, third-down situation, late in the fourth quarter, with the game on the line, Weis is going call the wrong play because he was thinking about whether to call the high-school quarterback from Youngstown or the wide receiver from Odessa from the locker room after the game, they're crazy.

"I mean, do they really think Weis would be distracted from putting together a game plan for the Dolphins by thoughts of whether to schedule a recruiting visit to Notre Dame for the defensive back from Peoria or the guard from McKeesport?

"Fact is, Weis made it clear last week to Notre Dame officials, who were understandably eager to secure a new coach as soon as possible, that he didn't plan on being available full-time 'til the second week in February.

"That could have cost him the job, but Charlie didn't care. His first responsibility, he felt, was to the Patriots. His loyalty belonged to Belichick. Weis was determined to finish that job before starting another one. And if that dedication cost him a job he'd always dreamed of having, well, at least he could sleep at night knowing he'd done the right thing.

"Notre Dame's administrators wisely realized that such dedication was one more attribute in Weis' favor, and hired him as coach of the Fighting Irish, even though he won't be full-time until after the NFL playoffs.

"Obviously, Weis can't devote all his energy to preparing the Patriots, any more than he can to recruiting the class of 2009 at Notre Dame. But he's smart enough, hard-working enough, organized enough to do a great job at both.

"Now, as for Prima Donna Petey, I was going to say that, if the Yankees are, indeed, his 'Daddy,' as he acknowledged last September, then the Mets surely must be his 'Sugar Daddy.'

"A four-year contract for $54 million? Who do they think he is -- Mo Vaughn?

"The Red Sox would be crazy to guarantee that kind of money for a 33-year-old pitcher with a history of arm problems who last season gave up more hits and had the highest earned-run average he'd ever had in his 12 years in the majors.

"Sure, there were years when Pedro was the best pitcher in baseball. Now, though, he's not even the best pitcher in Boston. Yet the Red Sox still were willing to pay him more than staff ace Curt Schilling, offering Petey a 3-year deal worth $40.5 million. But that still wasn't enough.

"As far as Prima Donna Petey's concerned, it's always been all about him. He had his own set of rules, and the Red Sox allowed him to play by them. It'll be interesting to see how that plays with the Mets' new manager, Willie Randolph, who is a product of the Yankees' highly disciplined -- and highly successful -- system.

"It's too bad Pedro couldn't -- or, more accurately, wouldn't -- finish his career in Boston. And it's hard to believe that, in 2005, at least, the Red Sox will be better off without him. Especially since Carl Pavano signed with the Yankees, Derek Lowe won't be back, and Pedro's replacement is the fat-and-almost-42 David Wells.

"But who's to say the Sox can't win a second straight World Series even if they finish second in the A.L. East for the eighth year in a row?

"So, what do you think?" I asked The Boss. "Should I do both Charlie and Pedro?"

"Did you say something?" The Boss replied. "I was distracted."