01:00 AM EDT on Wednesday, October 27, 2004

BY SEAN McADAM
Journal Sports Writer

ST. LOUIS -- This was supposed to be Brian Daubach's dream come true.

Growing up just across the river from St. Louis in Belleville, Ill., Daubach was a devout Cardinals fan, and the prospect of playing for the Red Sox, in a World Series, in his hometown, would have been more than he could have hoped for.

But now that the Red Sox and Cardinals are here, Daubach is not. Not as a player, anyway; just as a spectator.

"It's hard," admitted Daubach as he did some work around his new home. "I keep thinking how great it would be to play in this Series."

That was what Daubach had in mind last winter, after an unhappy season with the Chicago White Sox led him to accept a minor-league contract and an invitation to spring training with the Red Sox, the club he had played for four seasons.

"I had other offers, but I was comfortable there," said Daubach. "When I had the opportunity, I probably jumped at it too early without looking at the big picture. Some of my best friends -- not not only in baseball, but the whole world -- were there. That team does everything together, and I wanted to go back and be with them when they won a World Series. That's really the reason I came back to Boston, whether it was as a bench player or a role player."

In something of a surprise, Daubach made the team out of spring training, but never got as far as the home opener. After a season-opening series in Baltimore, the Sox found themselves short of pitchers.

He was sent to Pawtucket with the promise that he would return soon. When he did, he was given playing time as the Sox tried to find the right combination at first base, DH and outfield.

"I got a good opportunity to play from Tito," said Daubach of manager Terry Francona. "But I wasn't swinging really good. I had three or four games in a row where I was swinging at bad pitches, making easy outs, looking like I didn't belong on the field."

When Nomar Garciaparra was activated from the DL in early June, Daubach was the roster victim. He was given a half-hour to decide whether to accept the assignment.

"I never saw it coming," he said in retrospect. "But even still, I thought I'd be back at some point -- maybe not in 10 days, but I thought I'd be back and help win a World Series."

Daubach was half right. The Red Sox reached the Fall Classic, but without any input from Daubach who remained with Pawtucket the remainder of the season, then wasn't called up after the rosters expanded on Sept. 1.

Still, Daubach stayed in touch with Trot Nixon, Tim Wakefield and others from afar.

"I told the guys as soon as they clinched the wild card, 'Leave me tickets in the World Series,' " he said. "The Cards had pretty much dominated the N.L. and I thought (the two teams) were on a collision course. I had my bid in early (for tickets)."

Daubach went to his first Cardinals game in 1977 with his grandfather. He clearly recalls, at age 10, attending a 1982 World Series game with his father. Like the Red Sox, the Cardinals' following extends beyond city and state lines. They're the unofficial team of the Midwest, and Daubach was as passionate as anyone.

In portions of seven big-league seasons, he's never had a chance to play in his hometown ballpark. In 1997, he was promoted by the Florida Marlins from Triple A days after the Marlins were in St. Louis.

Now, with his former team here, he's a mere spectator.

"Maybe," said Daubach, "it just wasn't meant to be."

Despite his boyhood allegience to the home team, he's solidly behind the Red Sox.

"If anyone else was in the World Series, I'd definitely be rooting for the Cardinals," he said. "But I'll be a Red Sox fan forever. The fans were always great to me, even in Pawtucket. And I know what this World Series will do for New England."

He got together with some former teammates Monday night and renewed acquaintances. He's now a free agent and has heard indirectly about interest in him from other American League teams.

But there's something a little unfair, maybe even cruel, about Daubach, who spent eight years getting to the big leagues, being shut out of this opportunity.

"I wouldn't say cruel," said Daubach. "There are a lot worse things in life. It's been tougher on my family, my grandparents. I think they're more disappointed than I am. But I understand. I just have to keep plugging.

"It's not cruel; it's baseball."

Sometimes, though, they're one and the same.