-“I have always relied upon the kindness of strangers.”

Blanche Dubois, in Tennessee Williams’ "Streetcar Named Desire"

-“God helps them that help themselves.”

Benjamin Franklin, in "Poor Richard’s Almanac"

ORCHARD PARK, N.Y. — First things first.

Who said that first? Probably Adam. Possibly Eve, while suggesting that before they do anything else, her significant other might want to take a bite of this particularly tasty apple.

At any rate, the first thing the Patriots must do is defeat the Buffalo Bills this afternoon.

And at first glance — as well as at second, third and fourth glance, too, for that matter — that shouldn’t be a terribly difficult task. The Pats have, after all, beaten the Bills 10 times in a row, and 15 of the last 16. This does not mean the Bills are “due.” It means they stink.

As further evidence of that, Buffalo is 0-5 this season against its AFC East rivals.

Although the Bills did win last weekend in Denver, preventing the Broncos from clinching the AFC West, they gave up 532 yards total offense. The victory snapped a three-game losing streak and was only the second for Buffalo in its last nine games.

So, despite the obligatory cautions from coach Bill Belichick, to whom those 532 yards the Broncos racked up were apparently irrelevant — “Offensively, this is going to be a big challenge for us,” he said in all seriousness, looking ahead to today’s game — there is every reason to think the Patriots CAN once again handle the Bills and finish 11-5.

As to whether their season will, indeed, be finished, or whether the Pats will get to extend their franchise record for consecutive postseason playoff appearances to a sixth year — that is the question.

The answer will be provided, most likely, at the Meadowlands, where the Jets will be kicking off against the Dolphins just about the time the Patriots will be walking off the field in Buffalo. If the Jets defeat Miami, the Patriots (assuming they’ve beaten the Bills) will win the AFC East. Even if the Dolphins win, the Pats still could go to the playoffs as a wildcard team if the Jaguars beat the Ravens in a 4 p.m. game in Baltimore — although the chances of that happening don’t appear to be very good, considering that last week the 5-10 Jaguars blew a game they could have won against the Colts in Jacksonville, while the 10-5 Ravens upset the Cowboys in Dallas.

Which brings us back to the two quotes at the top of this column.

Relying on the kindness of strangers didn’t work out very well for Miss Blanche. And it hasn’t worked out for the Patriots over the years, either.

In 1977 and 1980, in 1983 and 1987, in 1988, and yet again in 2002, the Patriots had to rely on the results of other games the final weekend of the season to find out if they’d make it into the playoffs.

Not once did the chips fall the right way.

Consider these quotes from 1987:

“It goes to show you,” fullback Mosi Tatupu said, “that you can’t depend on somebody else.”

“It’s disappointing,” said quarterback Steve Grogan, “but we put ourselves in this position. We’ve got nobody to blame but ourselves.”

“We kept hoping,” said defensive lineman Kenneth Sims, “but the harsh reality of it all is that you’ve got to take care of your own business. We let some games slip away this season that we should have had. You reap what you sow.”

If things don’t work out for the Pats today, the names will change, but the quotes will remain much the same.

As the sage Mr. Franklin, a native Bostonian, said: God helps them that help themselves.

Where the Patriots hurt themselves most was by losing home games to the Jets in overtime after rallying from a 24-6 deficit, and to the Dolphins, who came into Foxboro the third week of the season having lost 20 of their previous 21 games, while the Pats were riding a 21-game, regular-season winning streak.

Win either of those games against their division rivals and the Patriots would have been, as the old cliché goes, in control of their own destiny this afternoon. If they’d won them both, the Pats would be game-planning for the playoffs.

Instead, they’ve first got to beat the Bills this afternoon, then rely upon Eric Mangini and the Jets to kindly beat the Dolphins. It doesn’t get much stranger than that.

jdonalds@projo.com