01:00 AM EDT on Thursday, July 29, 2004

BY TOM E. CURRAN
Journal Sports Writer

Everybody likes lists.

We, as an indefatigably competitive nation, hold pecking orders in a sacred place. The first peck is the finest and as he labors to keep his peck in place. The other pecks are pecking away so as to peck themselves into the place where their parents predicted they'd possibly perch.

You can make lists of famous people who like lists. You can list the finest lists ever listed. You can list the ways that lists are wholly fruitless exercises, used only as space-eating drib-drab for those too lazy to formulate whole sentences and paragraphs with nifty transitions. If there's a list -- no matter how inane -- people will read. Or at least that's our theory, which will be put to the test right now:

FOUR GOOD PLACES TO WATCH TRAINING CAMP

1. The hill nearest the stadium (good

for lounging)

2. The bleachers (but blinding and hot as a griddle in the heat)

3. One of those upper-crusty cement overhangs with bar service

4. Richard Seymour's shoulders

THREE TIMES TO ATTEND

1. Two days before any preseason game

2. The second week when the hitting starts in earnest

3. Never. It's practice. We are talking about practice.

FIVE THINGS TO KNOW

1. Not every player signs autographs every day

2. A dropped pass on Aug. 4 doesn't mean, "He's not going to make it."

3. Grab a roster sheet

4. When you yell, "C'mon guys, focus!"at that moment, players would like to focus on choking the eyeballs out of your head.

5. Anyone over 17 squishing kids in an autograph line is guilty of conduct unbecoming

FIVE COACHES TO LISTEN TO (BUT NOT QUOTE)

1. Brad Seely, special teams (professorially profane)

2. Charlie Weis, offensive coordinator (funny)

3. Dante Scarnecchia, offensive line (Mount Vesuvius)

4. Pepper Johnson, inside linebackers (copious commentary)

5. The rarely-seen, highly-agitated scarlet-necked Bill Belichick

FIVE PHRASES TO BE BEATEN TO A BLOODY PULP

1. "Indianapolis doesn't care about (Super Bowl, winning streak, etc.)"

2. "Are you guys going to run vanilla stuff this week?"

3. "Ty, are you sure you're OK with your contract?"

4. "Now that's what I'm talking about."

5. "I'm not a doctor."

FIVE STORY LINES GUARANTEED TO BE BEATEN TO A BLOODY PULP

1. Ted Washington's absence

2. Tom Brady's shoulder

3. Corey Dillon's attitude

4. Rosevelt Colvin's hip

5. Ty Law's state of mind

(bonus bloody pulp)

Whither Dan Klecko?

FIVE STORYLINES THAT DESERVE ATTENTION

1. Status and deployment of safety Eugene Wilson

2. Backup quarterback

3. Who will be the fifth receiver?

4. Impact of new punter Josh Miller

5. Rosevelt Colvin's hip

FIVE MOST COMPETITIVE SPOTS

1. Defensive line

2. Wide receiver

3. Starting cornerback opposite Law

4. Right tackle

5. Left guard

FIVE THINGS OF MAJOR INTEREST

1. How Charlie Weis uses his new offensive toys.

2. 3-4 or 4-3?

3. Does Rohan Davey's game look as good on this side of the Atlantic?

4. Can Bethel Johnson make David Patten expendable?

5. How long until the poker vogue ends?

FIVE GUYS THEY CAN'T AFFORD TO HAVE GO DOWN

1. Dan Koppen, center

2. Tom Brady, quarterback

3. Rodney Harrison, safety

4. David Givens, wide receiver

5. Mike Vrabel, outside linebacker

FIVE NICKNAMES ONE HOPES WON'T STICK

1. P.K. (Poor Konditioning) Sam

2. Daniel (Clang) Graham

3. Larry (H to the) Izzo

4. Marquise (De) Hill

5. Roman (Hassan) Phifer

(bonus bad nickname) Cody (Ice) Scates

FIVE ITEMS THAT WILL PUT BELICHICK IN THE VERBAL FOUR-CORNERS

1. Chuck rule

2. Defending title

3. Ty Law

4. Winning streak

5. Charlize Theron or Weeb Ewbank?

FIVE GUYS TO FEAR THE REAPER

1. David Patten

2. Adrian Klemm

3. Ted Johnson

4. Patrick Pass

5. Fred McCrary

FIVE NAMES THAT ARE JUST FUN TO SAY (SO SAY THEM WHILE YOU CAN)

1. Malaefou Mackenzie

2. Ryan Atoe

3. Lawrence Flugence

4. Zeron Flemister

5. Nick Esasky