SHE WHISPERED the words, “You are so hot,” and John Edwards was smitten. We have not heard the words that triggered the extra-marital romp of Nevada’s Sen. John Ensign. And from the Mark and Jenny and Maria triangle, we have heard too many words. Gov. Mark Sanford’s affair with Maria Belen Chapur has South Carolina reeling while the rest of the nation is lusting after the contents of steamy e-mails.

Scandal is going global, from nude photos of French President Nicolas Sarkozy’s wife to Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi’s partying with young women. In France, they shrug. In Italy, Catholic bishops chastise the prime minister’s wife of 20 years, a former topless dancer, for airing her marital troubles in the press.

In a world burdened by crises, how amazing that married politicians in the U.S. have time for trysts. Perhaps our leaders are trying to close the gap on 20 million sexless marriages in this nation. Has anyone told them that playing between the sheets with “the other woman” will not change the statistic?

Men think about sex more often than women, although the often quoted “every seven minutes” is a myth. Based on The Kinsey Reports and more recent studies by Edward O. Laumann, a University of Chicago sociology professor, “the majority of adult men under 60 think about sex at least once a day whereas only about one-quarter of women report this level of frequency.”

Also Dr. Laumann’s The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States points out that “sexual desire in women is extremely sensitive to environment and context.”

Billy Crystal must be thinking: “For that information they needed a study? I said the same thing years ago.” Crystal’s often repeated quote: “When it comes to sex, women need a reason, men just need a place.” And if they are in public office, they also need a good alibi.

Mark Sanford’s story that he was hiking when in fact he was in Buenos Aires with his mistress was implausible. Such lies seldom work. Perhaps women should form love-and-lies book clubs, beginning with Reading People: How to Understand People and Predict Their Behavior — Anytime, Anyplace. It is a book about truth and lies written by jury consultant Jo-Ellan Dimitrius. She has worked on over 600 trials, from O.J. Simpson to the Enron scandal.

The television show Lie to Me says that people lie three times every 10 minutes. This is a bit misleading as it is based on a study of 121 pairs of psychology students by Robert Feldman of the University of Massachusetts at Amherst. The finding: 60 percent of participants lied at least once during the 10-minute conversation and did so on average three times. Keep in mind that was an experiment. Reports on lying vary dramatically but conclude “everyone lies.”

Despite the intrigue of sex and scandal, what sadness we feel for political wives who manage to hold their heads high. Even after revelations of her husband’s mistress, Jenny Sanford seems to be focusing on family and forgiveness. I wonder if she knew, in her heart of hearts, that the governor had not “gone hiking.”

Today we do have a nearly perfect method for determining the truth — brain-mapping. David Langleben, a University of Pennsylvania neurologist and psychiatrist, has said on National Public Radio: “Three areas of the brain generally become more active during deception.” Essentially it takes more brain activity to tell a lie than to tell the truth. The downside to brain-mapping, as determined through an MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) is the $10,000 price tag

If you do not happen to have the extra cash lying around for brain-mapping — and you suspect another woman in your husband’s life — try embracing the sudden-passion concept. Pull a page from the Kama Sutra. Entice with a silk blindfold. Maybe get yourself a little something from a provocative lingerie shop. Or be truly daring and delve into what has quickly become a $1 million Internet industry — the hot-selling spanking skirt, made by a team in Pakistan whose shop is next to a mosque. Today sexy props are discreetly tucked away in homes from Bel Air, Calif., to Barrington, R.I.

If you are suffering from the bored-marriage syndrome, it is never too late to snuggle into your man’s fantasies. Consider bringing surprise and spice to your bedroom. The mistresses and male-poachers of the world are taking their chances on ensnaring your husband. The time is now to reclaim your place with passion and love.

Rita Watson is a monthly contributor and daily blogger at www.GreenLegals.com