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Gerry Goldstein: A carol for Papelbon
11:29 AM EST on Monday, December 10, 2007
O Papelbon, O Papelbon,
Thy fastball does amaze us.
O Papelbon, O Papelbon,
To new heights does it raise us.
Extra
-- Audio: Hear Gerry Goldstein singing his paean to Papelbon
When it’s hard and letter-high
It hums in tight and buzzes by.
O Papelbon, O Papelbon,
Thy fastball does amaze us.
But Papelbon, O Papelbon,
How sorry is thy dancing.
O Papelbon, O Papelbon,
Improve that awful prancing!
On the mound thou comes up big,
But spare us, please, that Irish jig.
O Papelbon, O Papelbon,
How sorry is thy dancing.
O Papelbon, O Papelbon,
We love thy boyish smile.
But Papelbon, O Papelbon,
Thou needs to change thy style.
Please kindly lose that fat cigar,
And put away thy air guitar.
O Papelbon, O Papelbon,
We love thy boyish smile.
O Papelbon, O Papelbon,
Thy pitches do sustain us.
But Papelbon, O Papelbon,
Thy wardrobe it does drain us!
With other teams all wilted now,
We’re forced to see thee kilted now.
O Papelbon, O Papelbon,
Thy pitches do sustain us.
O Papelbon, O Papelbon,
Despite this carping carol,
O Papelbon, O Papelbon,
No matter thy apparel!
For all that we could care,
Pitch in thy underwear!
O Papelbon O Papelbon,
Thy fastball does amaze us!
—Gerry Goldstein
* To the tune of O Tannebaum
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