A SHORT ARTICLE in the Aug. 14 New York Times reported that, according to a survey of more than 15,000 young Americans, abstinence-only programs do not work for HIV prevention. The analysis was published in the August issue of The British Medical Journal and tracked 13 studies.

Most of the programs were school-based. The random trials included control groups. “None of the programs made any significant difference in preventing pregnancy, reducing unprotected sex, or delaying sexual initiation,” reported The Times. The study replicates results from similar trials.

Parents might be surprised to find that for many teens, abstinence means avoiding only vaginal intercourse. To them, it does not include other forms of sexual activity such as oral and anal sex. Parents should stress to their teenagers that by engaging in forms of sexual activity other than intercourse, they still put themselves at risk for HIV and other sexually transmitted infections, which can lead to later infertility, long-term illness, and even death.

Adolescent pregnancy is not the best choice for everyone: Young potential parents should be getting an education that will give them a leg up in life without the distractions of caring for a baby; potential grandparents may not be willing to step in to help raise another child; potential children deserve to be raised in security by mature parents. Society as a whole benefits from the contributions of educated parents who can care for themselves and their children.

Guardians of the teens at risk need to step up their efforts to keep their children safe from unprotected sex. Most of us would like to think that teenagers are virginal, innocent of all sexual activity. But we know that many of them aren’t, or abstinence-only programs would be effective. And, today’s teens were born between 1988 and 1994. Ask yourselves, honestly, how old were you when you first had sex? According to statistics, 50-75 percent of you, male or female, were unmarried teenagers engaging in intercourse.

Even though it may seem hard and embarrassing, adults should start a conversation with the teenagers they love. Find an appropriate time and place and ask, gently and non-judgmentally, “What do you know about sex? Are you experimenting? You can tell us. We want to be sure you’re safe.”

Turning a blind eye to what might be going on in your teenager’s life doesn’t prevent anything, nor does having this conversation mean you are giving him or her the green light. Instead, it will give you a chance to talk about why you hope they won’t have sex, or how they can protect themselves if they are. But, when you talk to them, be honest with yourself: Remember when you were their age.

If you can’t bring yourself to have this conversation, Planned Parenthood of Rhode Island offers a wide range of educational resources and teaching tools on human sexuality and reproductive health available to teenagers and parents. We have skilled counselors who can help your teenager make good decisions.

Early in 2008, we will be launching a new initiative called “Real Life, Real Talk,” a nationwide program aimed at helping parents talk to their children about sex, so that parents have the tools to communicate with their teens and to guide their choices.

Let’s work together to prevent teenage pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections, including AIDS and HIV, and give our kids a chance to grow up healthy and ready for parenthood with all its responsibilities. Planned Parenthood’s national commitment is to support healthy families through common-sense prevention measures—“Prevention First.” Let’s all go there.

Barbara Dickinson, of East Greenwich, is chairwoman of Planned Parenthood of Rhode Island.