01:00 AM EST on Friday, February 18, 2005

Massachusetts state officials are trying to use a recently discovered pile of rocks (a "natural occurrence" the size of an SUV, but then SUVs are frightfully big!) in Nantucket Sound as a rationale for expanding state borders by about 12 square miles, so as to please some affluent people -- especially the major campaign contributors (many of whom drive SUVs) who don't want a wind farm in their horizons as seen from their summer places on the Cape and Vineyard.

The clever idea is to push back federal waters and extend state ones, wherein the commonwealth could stop or severely limit any wind farm of the Cape Wind kind.

It is unclear whether the Feds would go along with this latest scam to keep a non-polluting energy facility from anywhere near the Wianno Club. But distinguished "environmentalists" Sen. Edward Kennedy, Gov. Mitt Romney and Congressman William Delahunt should be commended for their command of history, law, underwater geology and bureaucratic maneuvering.

Meanwhile, such career pols as Providence Mayor David Cicilline, Fall River Mayor Edward Lambert and U.S. Sen. Jack Reed are doing everything they can to block liquefied natural gas -- the cleanest fossil fuel -- from being shipped up Narragansett Bay to terminals at Providence and Fall River.

"Perilous," they say, although such shipments are made all the time all over the world. Apparently these politicians prefer that the stuff continue to arrive -- not just depart -- by truck. And, anyway, maybe we should really burn more high-sulfur oil and coal. I favor the coal: It gives the air a sweetness, and doesn't easily explode -- except as dust in mines, which are far away and worked by people who don't own sailboats.

"My God, we can't have these big ships going up the Bay, of all places!" Actually, given the affluence and political power of the owners of summertime boats, perhaps soon we can't have any ships going up the Bay, as the economy becomes a mixture of 5 percent people living on their investments and 95 percent servants of the former. The triumph of the "hospitality industry"!

For that matter, it's past time to take down the bridges: They could collapse -- while you're on them! -- and are easy targets for the burgeoning terrorist community. And consider all those gas stations waiting to explode.

Meanwhile, the pols' willful ignorance of what it takes to finance and run a profitable enterprise ensures that they can pleasurably and glibly say whatever they want about "safe" "alternative" projects -- unhindered as they are by knowledge of the market's cruel disciplines, let alone science.

Thus, of course, they love a plan that would instead put a big LNG terminal way offshore -- as long as they wouldn't get blamed for the resulting higher energy costs. Who wouldn't? And they don't care whether the "safe" projects would pose huge environmental dangers of their own -- any more than they care about the Chinese poisoning the planet by burning soft coal. Out of sight, out of mind.

It's like Providence taxes. The problem, the mayor always says, is that the state doesn't give the city enough money. He assiduously ignores the city's incestuous labor contracts and an economic climate -- as, once again, demonstrated by his stance on LNG -- of discouraging just about any business that somebody loud might not like. The motto of our statesmen remains "Get it off my desk and onto someone else's."

But then, this sort of thing happens in the private sector, too. Take the rumpus over the Rhode Island Historical Society's proposed sale of some of its antiques, or the Providence Athenaeum's plan to sell an Audubon folio -- which few of its members ever look at -- to raise money to cover expenses. "They can't do this! It's our patrimony!" shout the affronted denizens of Culture Gulch.

"Well," you might ask some of the more affluent complainants, "how about giving these places money, so they won't have to sell off the stuff?"

Silence from the well-off residents of a state ranked among America's five stingiest in terms of private charity. "Something must be done! Somebody (else) must do it!"

Oh, well. Long after childhood, most of us still expect someone else to take care of our problems. Oddly, our elected leaders seem to do this more than anyone else.

Robert Whitcomb