Lee and Judi McNeil-Beckwith, of Providence, take advantage of the same-sex marriage law in Massachusetts to seal a vow they made seven years ago.

07:54 AM EDT on Friday, May 21, 2004

BY LINDA BORG
Journal Staff Writer

WORCESTER, Mass. -- Lee and Judi McNeil-Beckwith woke up, took out the trash and fed the cat. Then they drove to Worcester City Hall and made history.

In a ceremony yesterday as plain as it was poignant, Lee and Judi became one of the first gay couples from Rhode Island to cross the state line to legitimize a union that their hearts recognized long ago.

By getting married, the two women, both nurses who met over a patient's hospital bed, fulfilled a private vow that they made seven years ago.

With Judi's teenage daughter, Becky Teman, looking on, the Providence couple held a bouquet of irises and sterling roses from their garden while City Clerk David J. Rushford read the marriage vows.

Then Judi, 52, her eyes brimming with tears, read from a wrinkled sheet of lined paper.

"Since the moment you came into my life, you have been there for me, through the darkest days. You are the reason I have no fear of living my life in truth. My love for you knows no boundaries."

Lee and Judi kissed, then embraced.

ON MONDAY, gay marriage became legal in Massachusetts. But Lee and Judi didn't join the first rush of gay men and women to exchange vows on the steps of town halls from Cambridge to Cape Cod.

After waiting nearly a decade, the couple wanted one final blessing before they took the plunge. They wanted to make sure their marriage would be valid when they returned to Providence. And so Lee called Attorney General Patrick C. Lynch Tuesday and asked for his advice.

Journal photo / Kris Craig Lee. left, and Judi McNeil-Beckwith, of Providence, exchange wedding vows in City Hall in Worcester, Mass., yesterday, with Judi's daughter, Becky Teman, in attendance.

"He congratulated us, wished us well and said his hope is that we receive all of the benefits" of marriage, Judi said.

"It's really important that we have our marriage be just that -- a legal and emotional and spiritual union," said Lee, who is 40. "Everywhere we go we have to fill out forms. Before, we could never fill out the box that said married. Now we can."

Lynch parsed his words carefully Monday. He said he would recognize any marriage performed legally in another state unless doing so would run counter to public policy in Rhode Island. He also advised couples to seek legal counsel before tying the knot.

Love moved Judi and Lee to marry. But having the same legal rights as heterosexual married couples was also a very powerful motivator, the couple said. As an unmarried spouse, Lee isn't eligible for Judi's pension. If something happens to one of them, the surviving partner would have to pay a gift tax on their Washington Park home.

"There are a million ways that it affects our rights," Lee said. "We own a home together. Every Saturday morning, we sit down and split the bills exactly in half to prove that we both own the house legally."

Just how these issues will play out in Rhode Island is anyone's guess. Lynch acknowledged that he doesn't have all of the answers. Until Rhode Island passes laws that apply to same-sex marriages, there will be more uncertainty than clarity.

Both women, however, are confident that the Rhode Island legislature will approve a same-sex marriage bill, something they have championed since moving here two years ago. They want to assume the same legal responsibilities that other married couples share.

"We love each other so much," Lee said. "We want the privileges and the duties that come with being married."

JUDI AND LEE dressed casually for their wedding -- jeans, white button-down shirts and sandals -- because they wanted the day to be as simple and easy as their relationship.

The couple held hands in a high-ceilinged room trimmed with oak and painted a dark forest green. "A good marriage," City Clerk Rushford said, "understands and forgives. Today you make that promise out loud."

Judi turned to Lee and said, "I love you to the core of my being."

"Now," the clerk said, "you may kiss."

The couple hugged and kissed again, then went home to fix the plumbing.