Partners Kerri Richardson, left, and Kim Ploettner, of Providence, gather with others on the rotunda of the State House yesterday for the Valentine’s Day rally by Marriage Equality Rhode Island.

THE PROVIDENCE JOURNAL / Kris Craig

PROVIDENCE — Cupid doesn’t discriminate between gay and straight, and neither should the state.

That was the Valentine’s Day message yesterday as advocates for legalizing same-sex marriage gathered once again in the State House to push for their cause.

“Marriage is a means towards safety and security for all families,” said Rodney Davis, co-chair of Rhode Island Pride. “Every Rhode Islander ought to have that same right.”

Supporters of gay marriage filled the rotunda late yesterday despite the snow, sleet and freezing rain.

The theme of the rally: it’s time lawmakers showed same-sex marriage more respect.

They face steep odds.

Governor Carcieri, House Speaker William J. Murphy and Senate President Joseph A. Montalbano all oppose gay marriage. Lawmakers have held hearings on the issue before, but General Assembly leaders have never let their members go on record with a vote.

“While I am supportive of extending civil rights to gay couples,” Montalbano, D-North Providence, said in a statement yesterday, “I respect the long tradition of marriage as an institution that joins one man and one woman.”

Governor Carcieri made similar comments yesterday about “the historical institution of marriage” through his spokesman, Jeff Neal.

The governor believes, Neal said, “that this issue is such a fundamental question of public policy,” and that no change should be made unless through voter referendum.

“He does not believe it is for the legislature or the courts to make such a momentous decision,” Neal said.

Murphy, D-West Warwick, refused to respond to repeated requests for comment through his spokesman this week.

The fight over gay marriage is a bit more complicated this year, thanks to a bill sponsored by Rep. Paul W. Crowley, D-Newport, that for the first time in several years proposes civil unions.

Crowley’s bill would allow same-sex civil unions but also defines marriage as the “union of one man and one woman.”

The sponsor of yesterday’s rally, Marriage Equality Rhode Island, does not take a position on civil unions, according its director, Jenn Steinfeld. But Steinfeld said the group has grave concerns about defining marriage as something between a man and a woman.

“That language is something that we are absolutely committed to not passing in Rhode Island,” Steinfeld said. “It is a clear step backwards in the marriage movement here.”

She later added: “This bill is a wolf in sheep’s clothing.”

Wendy Becker told the crowd the Armageddon would not come if same-sex couples are allowed to marry. In October, Becker and her partner Mary Norton — Providence residents — got married in Massachusetts.

“For those who thought civilization would end with our marriages, global warming may take care of that,” Becker said.

She said it is time to tell lawmakers that “they can’t hide behind religion, tradition or fear.”

Last Valentine’s Day Frank Ferri proposed to his partner of 25 years, Tony Caparco, at a State House rally. In June the Warwick couple was married in Vancouver.

“It was bittersweet because we had to flee out of state to get married,” Caparco said yesterday. “It’s a shame.”

Supporters of allowing two people to marry — regardless of gender — said marriage is an essential civil right that should be extended to everybody. Opponents said that gay marriage would destroy the concept of family and remove the very foundation of civilized society.

The Catholic Church has held that marriage is a partnership between one man and one woman.

The Rev. Bernard A. Healey, lobbyist for the Diocese of Providence, last year testified that “The intuition of marriage, as the union of one man and one woman, must be preserved, protected and promoted in private and public realms.”

Most of the state’s top leaders are Catholic and the church has a strong presence in the State House.

But at yesterday’s rally, gay- marriage supporters tried to show that this is not a religious issue.

The Rev. Gene Dyszlewski, pastor of Riverside Congregational United Church of Christ, spoke on behalf of 100 Rhode Island religious leaders who signed a declaration saying that same-sex marriage is God’s will.

“I am the pastor of a church that recognizes that same-sex marriage is God’s will. And I personally believe that same-sex marriage is a part of God’s plan. To believe otherwise is unthinkable to us,” Dyszlewski said. “To believe otherwise is to imagine that in creating diversity in nature God made a mistake. What’s even worse is to imagine that in creating humanity God made a mistake.”

The group also is pushing its cause in 21st-century style. Its efforts include a page on MySpace.com and everybody at the rally yesterday was urged to take out their cell phones, program in the number for the governor’s office and call every week.

As last year’s session drew to a close, supporters of gay marriage accused legislative leaders of playing games by refusing to let the issue have an up or down vote. To drive home their point, members of Marriage Equality Rhode Island played board games late into the night at the State House rotunda.

In the past, some lawmakers have said that forcing a vote on gay marriage would force conservative House members to push for a vote on legislation creating a 24-hour waiting period for abortions.

“They are two completely different issues of conscience,” Steinfeld said, “and it’s really a shame that they link the two together.”

smayerow@projo.com