01:00 AM EST on Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Some people are planning not to buy anything tomorrow. I'm not sure what kind of message that sends, but it seems far too grim and serious. I mean, what are we saying to the world by buying the plasma TV on Friday instead of tomorrow?

Other people want to fall back on that old standard of public anxiety -- the ribbon or ribbons attached to various body parts, purses, overcoats. I think the idea here is that the ribbons come off when the troops come home. It seems a little worn.

And there are others, of course, who will go to Washington, D.C., and be promptly dispatched to somewhere near Baltimore where the official protester corral will be set up to make sure the president gets not a hint of public disapproval on his way to the swearing-in. There are people planning to turn their backs on the president, but that's going to be pretty pointless if they're miles from the man they're supposed to be dissing.

Tomorrow is really no day to be serious. It's also no day to get drunk and play old Peter, Paul and Mary albums, as some people are planning to do in response to four more years of George W. Bush. That just adds to the pain.

It's a day to be silly. We're not just inaugurating a president; we're inaugurating a whole new way of life in which the entire country becomes its own reality show. People watch us from other places, waiting for the next pileup, the next collision, the next national obsession with a criminal lowlife. We seldom disappoint our worldwide audience.

And in a country turned silly, it is silly to be serious. So let's start our day by checking out Doonesbury in the morning paper.

Then, we'll rip another page from our "Bushisms" calendars. I received mine from a very thoughtful friend, and Bush voter, who thinks I fret far too much about the president.

The calendar is a wonderful piece of work, featuring a quote from our president for every day of the year. Difficult as it is, I try to avoid skipping ahead for a heavy dose of presidential howlers. It's best to take the president one day at a time.

Today's words from the leader of the Free World are:

"The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case."

That mystifying quote was taken from way back in January of 2000 when George W. Bush was still governor of Texas. At that point, there were still tens of thousands of words ahead of him.

Actually, what I was really hoping for was a George W. Bush bobblehead doll. Just push a button on the doll and you can actually hear those mind-numbing quotes. I want it on my dashboard.

We'll be living a cartoon tomorrow. Let's act appropriately.

I'll try to get some friends together for an informal seminar on what books, if any, might show up on the shelves of the George W. Bush Presidential Library when it's built sometime in 2010 over a prairie dog hole in west Texas. The Little Engine That Could? A Golfer's Life? The Pet Goat?

And maybe we'll just settle back and think about the special moments -- the landing on the aircraft carrier and the "Mission Accomplished" banner; the first debate with John Kerry.

There will be plenty of time to get back to the heavy, serious stuff. Tomorrow, George W. Bush will be inaugurated for a second term. It is a time for all of us to kick back and be goofy.

On Friday, we can resume the discussion about the upcoming elections in Iraq -- the ones in which nobody knows the candidates because the candidates are too scared to campaign.

Bob Kerr can be reached by e-mail at bkerr [at] projo.com