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Have yourself a funky little Christmas Christmas CDs: Not a lot of turkeys this year
01:00 AM EST on Sunday, December 3, 2006
The Providence Journal / Gretchen Ertl
Looking back on the 16 Christmas discs I got this year, it’s actually not a bad crop; certainly nothing as screamingly awful as Jessica Simpson’s offering two years ago (still haven’t gotten the worst moments of that out of my head). And three local offerings, ranging from pretty good to very good.
What it’s missing, however, is the purely bizarre. There’s no The American Song-Poem Christmas in this year’s bag; no personalized CDs for your dog. Everyone’s gone earnest this year.
With one exception.
Christmas is 4 Ever
(Shout! Factory)
As I say almost every day, thank God for Bootsy Collins.
Former Parliament/Funkadelic bass master Collins takes the space bass, the chocolate-city thunder and the Saturday-morning cartoon-music sensibility that’s informed his best work and turns these Christmas favorites, and a few originals, into a vintage throwdown.
You know how you’re afraid a new Bootsy Christmas album would sound? This doesn’t sound like that. You know how you’re hoping this would sound? That’s it.
After a mostly spoken intro, an inspired “Merry Christmas Baby” starts the proceedings by bringing the funk to the R&B classic. On “Jingle Belz” — “have no fear; Boot-A-Claus is here!” — the aesthetic is in a bit of conflict with the material, but with Collins’s trademark weirdness (including some original, lascivious verses) and Fred Wesley on trombone, you can’t go far wrong. And “Boot-Off” (“the funky soul reindeer”) sets things right quickly.
There are other guest appearances, by Snoop Dogg and former P-Funk keyboardist Bernie Worrell, as well as in-between messages from such as Bishop Don Magic Juan and Buckethead, but the groove is the thing here, and Collins is just as likely to play drums (on which he’s been vastly underrated over the years) as his inimitable bass, while the NastyNattiHorns play it loud, flat and heavy. Even songs that start out weakly, such as “WinterFunkyLand,” “Silent Night” and “Sleigh Ride,” are redeemed by mid-song car-shaking jams.
The jam of the season.
Wintersong
(Arista)
This is about what you’d expect from McLachlan — a downbeat collection of standards and originals, with lower-tech production than her previous records — a refreshing change from the tendency of most pop singers when they step up to do a Christmas record and lay on the strings.
Her airy voice alternates between bewitching, as on a straightforward “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” and languid, as on the generic internationalism of “The First Noel”/“Mary Mary.” Her voice is overwhelmed on a cover of John Lennon’s “Happy Xmas (War Is Over),” but she wraps around standards such as “Christmas Time is Here” (with a piano cameo from Diana Krall) comfortably.
It’d get lost in the hustle and bustle of a Christmas party, but for looking out the window at dusk it’s ideal.
Jolly Jump Jive
(North Star)
This is an instrumental collection of holiday favorites recorded by Rhode Island blues royalty — the loose collection centered around James, “Sax” Gordon Beadle, guitarist Duke Robillard, bassist Marty Ballou, drummer Mark Teixeira and pianists Matt McCabe and Paul Nagel that has powered recent releases under the names of Beadle and James, Robillard and Teixeira (whose own Saturday Night and Sunday Morning record is out now).
They make quite a house band, whoever’s nominally in charge, and this time they bring a variety of blues and roots-rock styles to bear, such as a Bar Kays-style stomp on “Silver Bells,” a Ventures-esque “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” and a strut through “Silent Night.”
All impeccably played and grooving, perfect party fare.
Jim Cosgrove
(Warner Brothers)
Considering the album title, and the presence of silly in-between skits such as “Phlegmwick the Elf,” this offering from the Kansas City-based children’s performer is straightforward in its religiosity, mixing in earnest originals such as “Prepare the Way” (“. . . for the King of Kings”) with fun stuff such as “Mele Kalikimaka” and “How Many Days ’Til Christmas?” The reggae-esque “Whatcha Gonna Call That Baby?” is a highlight as well.
If devoutness is a turnoff you’ll want to give this a pass, but if it’s your bag this gets it across without a lot of the hifalutin-ness that can turn kids off quick.
A Twisted Christmas
(Razor and Tie)
Well, you’ve already read enough to know whether you want this one. About all I can add is that, if you didn’t already know that “We’re Not Gonna Take It” and “O Come All Ye Faithful” are basically the same song, the band has the good sense and humor to make it clear, quoting the drum intro and guitar solo of the former in their version of the latter.
“Heavy Metal Christmas,” a reworking of “The Twelve Days of Christmas,” is humorous (“Four quarts of Jack/ Three studded belts/ Two pairs of Spandex pants/ And a tattoo of Ozzy”), and you have to give it up to bassist Mark Mendoza, particularly on “Silver Bells.”
Other than that, well, you know that Pitchfork review of the new Jet album? The review that consisted solely of a link to the YouTube video of the ape peeing into his own mouth? Do you have any idea why that might have popped into my head at this moment?
Simply Christmas
(Self-released)
This is Rhode Islander Bonin’s second release, and it’s a collection of standards with a few more-religious numbers such as “Joseph’s Song,” as well as less-known stuff such as “The Gift” (in a duet with Jenifer Hamilton) and “Believe,” perhaps best known for Josh Groban’s version. There’s also a duet with Mark Colozzi on “Littler Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth,” David Bowie-Bing Crosby style.
It’s mostly demo quality, with a small band and often just piano accompaniment (the swinging piano-and-bass version of “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” is a highlight), the better to put the focus on Bonin’s voice. Deep and strong, it’s got real potential. Keep an eye out.
The Christmas Collection
(Self-released)
Cumberland’s own Johnson Craig has come up with a collection of 14 Christmas-inspired originals that show classic pop songwriting and a pleasantly shaggy, lo-fi production. There’s a full band but it’s heavy on lush acoustic guitar and piano.
The would-be singles, such as “Christmas With My Dog,” “Ships at Sea” and “Get Me Home,” follow the forms of folk-rock and Gram Parsons-style country-rock, but listen for diversions such as the music-hall stylings of “Cats’ Christmas,” which recalls the twee passages of records such as The Zombies’ Odessey and Oracle, but with enough chops to put the conceit over.
The CD may or may not be ready by the time you read this, but it’s available for download at www.digstation.com. I say do it.
Wishing for This
(One Son)
The warbly singer-songwriter tries her hand at classics such as “Baby It’s Cold Outside,” “O Holy Night” and George Michael’s “Last Christmas,” and shows she’s out of her league.
Her thin voice wears quickly, and while there’s a certain charm on her own recordings, she especially can’t cut it on a potentially powerhouse number such as “O Holy Night,” where it’s clear she’s ducking out of the high hard notes at the end not by choice but by lack of chops. She’s even writing beyond her range, as her own “Wishing for This” shows.
How Cool is That Christmas
(Epic)
I’ve got no idea what cooking-star Ray had to do with this album, but it’s a compilation of Christmas favorites with highlights such as Elvis Presley’s “Santa Bring My Baby Back (To Me),” Willie Nelson’s “Blue Christmas” and Aretha Franklin’s “Winter Wonderland.”
There are enough misses — such as Lou Monte’s “Dominick the Donkey,” Buster Poindexter’s “Zat You, Santa Claus?” and Gato Barbieri’s schlocky “Auld Lang Syne” — that you might want to wait a couple of years when you’ll be able to get this for about 99 cents on eBay.
Cool Yule
(Columbia)
Not a lot of surprises on this one, except for the cut-and-paste of “Winter Wonderland” and “Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!” performed as a duet with Johnny Mathis. The album opener “Merry Christmas” is a fairly unusual choice, and “I’ve Got My Love to Keep Me Warm” is a welcome addition.
Other than that, it’s pretty standard stuff: the quick numbers swing with horns; the ballads swell with strings, and perhaps inevitably, there’s “Mele Kalikimaka.” Though with a masterful voice like Midler’s, standard stuff can be just fine. I’ll even forgive a Christmas version of “From a Distance.”
J is For Joy
(Retribution)
This is a one-man show by singer-keyboardist Fluker, and as such it’s full of synthesized strings, drum machines and synthetic keyboards trying to pass for the real thing rather than playing to their artificial strengths.
Fluker can sing, all right — there’s more than a touch of Stevie Wonder to his voice — and his up-tempo reworking of “O Come All Ye Faithful” is interesting, but other than that he works the seam between synth-soul and smooth jazz.
Hear the Angel Voices
(Timeless Music)
Opera tenor Tanner has sung throughout the United States and Europe, and this is his third recording.
Um, he sure can sing.
Where does he stand on the ladder of opera singers? What do I know? But yeah, sure, he’s booming and strong.
He tackles a collection of classics in orchestral style, such as “Adeste Fidelis,” “Mille Cherubini” and not one but two versions of “Ave Maria” (Caccini and Bach). He’s a little stiffer on popular stuff such as “White Christmas” and “The Christmas Song,” but he lends an unusual solemnity to “White Christmas” and he’ll blow your doors off on “O Holy Night.”
So this is for when you want to get serious about the season.
Acoustic Hearts of Winter
(Hollywood Records)
The worst-titled disc of the season, particularly since it’s inaccurate: The first and last songs on here are full-on electric. They’re also the two best offerings on the disc from these two young Disney Channel-powered stars.
The speedy pop-rock “Greatest Time of Year” is slight but exuberant and catchy, and the closing “Not This Year” is similar, but with a melancholy bent, remembering that sometimes painful life events come at Christmastime, leaving you not feeling very festive. They’re both originals, which bodes well for the two sisters.
The rest of it? Eh. It’s acoustic, if still highly produced, and mostly highlights their vocal limitations.
A Classic Christmas
(Curb Records)
Wynonna’s still got the edge and the bit of twang that put her in the forefront of country music, but that’s the only thing about this record that recalls her glories — she’s been put in the Christmas-Music-O-Matic. Strings, glockenspiels, the whole Andy-Williams-TV-special nine yards. This is the stuff that, when you were 10 years old, you turned off, or ran upstairs and turned on — well, probably The Rolling Stones or something to get away from Christmas music for a while.
Maybe it’s the easy nostalgia points; I don’t know. I haven’t figured out why singers do this, particularly in this case; we all know Wynonna can kick things up more than this.
A Christmas Celebration
(Manhattan Records)
The vocal harmonies of the group Celtic Woman can occasionally sound so tight and close as to be brittle and precious, but on this collection that’s largely a strength, particularly on “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.” Where most renditions are mumbly and conversational, there’s a “wow” factor and a stateliness at work here.
This applies to the rest of the record too, with Celtic fiddle adding a bit of the diddly-diddly to jazz (wrong word) up “Carol of the Bells,” “Christmas Pipes” and more.
Gold: A 50th-Anniversary Christmas Collection
(Columbia)
Bet you always wondered why Johnny Mathis made so many Christmas albums. Turns out it’s so he could put together a compilation of the best tracks! Now you can buy this compilation and get all the best tracks in one spot without shelling out for all the individual records! Don’t you feel smart for waiting for this compilation now? I sure do!
Um, you did wait for this compilation, right? Because if you didn’t, the only reason to get this is for the two new tracks — the “Winter Wonderland”/“Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!” mashup with Bette Midler that you can already get on Midler’s record, and some non-starter (literally; the whole thing sounds like one big intro) version of “O Tannenbaum” with Mannheim Steamroller. Is Mannheim Steamroller that important to you? Oh. It is? Sorry.
There are two Christmas singles out there (or soon to be) that I know of.
The Pigs took a blowtorch to Christmas music in general and came up with “I’ve Got Santa Claus,” in which the singer kidnaps the bearded one and says that no one’s getting anything for Christmas until we get serious about this whole peace-on-earth thing. Get it at www.PeaceforXmas.com.
And The Killers will have a Christmas charity single on iTunes, but it hadn’t been released as of press time.
That’s it. I’m not doing this again for another year. Go forth and listen, pray to whoever you pray to, and do what you like.
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