The funniest thing about Kevin James’ new comedy, Paul Blart, Mall Cop, is its offbeat title.

James, the star of the long-running (1998-2007) hit TV comedy The King of Queens, co-wrote the script (with Nick Bakay). But the film is a one-note idea that’s mildly amusing at best. James plays a self-serious shopping mall security guard who tries to thwart a gang of thieves who have taken the place over in a scheme to steal credit card numbers from the stores and go on a $30-million shopping spree at Amazon.com.

The film is a showcase for James and he’s the best thing in it, winning sympathy as Paul Blart. Having failed the tough physical training to become a New Jersey State Trooper because of his hypoglycemia, Paul has taken a job as a security guard at the West Orange Pavilion Mall (actually the Burlington Mall in Massachusetts) which he patrols on his Segway scooter as though he were on the Highway Patrol. He is rigid, certain of his duties and responsibilities, and unaware of how silly he seems to others. In one goofy scene that falls flat, he pulls over a man on a motorized shopping cart for speeding. The man ignores Paul and drives off as any sane person might.

Paul is a lonely man. His wife has abandoned him long ago with a little daughter who is now a teenager named Maya (Raini Rodriquez). He attempts to make waves with the pretty Amy (Jayma Mays), who sells hair extensions at a mall kiosk. He seems to be making headway with Amy until he inadvertently drinks alcohol, becomes roaring drunk because of his hypoglycemia and embarrasses himself in front of her.

However, Paul is the only authority figure left inside the mall after a gang of crooks takes over. Most of the customers flee into the night, but half a dozen are kidnapped, including Amy and Maya. Acting like Bruce Willis in Die Hard, Paul takes it upon himself to save the day including a Die Hard-like moment when he tries to hide in a ceiling heating pipe.

There’s not a lot of imagination or surprise in the script. One can pretty much see where all this is headed and how it will turn out, although there is one tiny startling turn of events at the end. Director Steve Carr, whose films include Ice Cube’s Are We Done Yet? and Eddie Murphy’s Daddy Day Care and Dr. Dolittle 2, moves things along, but without any inspiration in the script it comes out looking like a TV sitcom.

Still, if you’ve visited the Burlington Mall, here’s your chance to see it in a starring role on the big screen along with Peter Gerety, once a mainstay on the Trinity Rep stage, who here plays Paul’s boss.

**Paul Blart, Mall Cop

Starring: Kevin James, Keir O’Donnell, Jayma Mays, Raini Rodriguez, Shirley Knight, Stephen Rannazzisi, Peter Gerety.

Rated: PG, contains violence, brief profanity.

mjanuson@projo.com