Owen Wilson is a self-serving bodyguard to a trio of geeks in Drillbit Taylor.

Paramount pictures/ Suzanne Hanover

Young teens may be able to relate to Drillbit Taylor, about three high school freshman nerds who hire a homeless, unemployed former mercenary (or so he says) as a bodyguard to save them from a relentless bully.

For adults, the most interesting thing about the film is trying to fathom any signs of an approaching meltdown in star Owen Wilson, hospitalized last August after an attempted suicide. One can only wonder if, after seeing his once-promising career descending to something as lame as Drillbit Taylor, it was what pushed him over the edge.

Actually, the role seems tailor-made for Wilson who again plays a self-aggrandizing dimwit who doesn’t realize that he’s an overblown jerk as he barges his way through life.

The film’s opening sequence cuts between shots of Wilson’s Drillbit sleeping in a park overlooking the Pacific Coast Highway or begging money from drivers stopped in heavy traffic with shots of the boys planning their first day in high school, only to discover once they arrive that they are doomed to become the perpetual victims of a beady-eyed sadist named Filkins (Alex Frost).

What to do? The boys — Wade (Nate Hartley, who looks like a scrawnier version of Harry Potter), chubby Ryan (Troy Gentile) and the pint-sized creepy little hanger-on of the group, Emmit (David Dorfman) — figure that only the drastic measure of hiring a bodyguard will help. But the only one who will take the $83-a-week salary they can scrape together is Wilson’s con-man Drillbit Taylor who wows them with tales of his past as a soldier of fortune and how he is going to teach them to defend themselves while being their ever-present (though just out of sight) bodyguard. Drillbit assures them that he can be called to the rescue on a second’s notice on their walkie-talkies.

In real life, however, Drillbit is an Army deserter who sees the boys only as a cash cow that can be milked for more and more. He rummages through Wade’s house to snatch silver platters and expensive watches that he can pawn for money. They’ve got more than they need, he reasons. They’ll never miss it.

It’s not long, though, and no surprise when Drillbit begins falling for the three kids who have “victim” written all over their young faces. He discovers that he can stay close by pretending to be a substitute teacher at their school, turning up everywhere from hall monitor to gym class to the teachers lounge where he bowls over the attention-starved English teacher (Leslie Mann) who falls for his phony lines as easily as the boys.

Director Steven Brill has a long relationship with films about underdog children, having written The Mighty Ducks and co-written and directed Heavyweights, about a group of kids at a weight-loss summer camp. The formula is intact in the script by Kristofer Brown and Seth Rogen (Superbad), but unless you’re under 14, Drillbit Taylor will seem like something you’ve seen before.

**Drillbit Taylor

Starring: Owen Wilson, Leslie Mann, Nate Hartley, Troy Gentile, David Dorfman.

Rated: PG-13, contains violence, sexual innuendoes.

mjanuson@projo.com