Gregory Hillman, 21, is missing, and family members believe he may be in Providence.

Hillman family photo

PROVIDENCE –– In the e-mails he sent to his big brother and sister, and the note he left on his pillow at a private mental-health facility in western Massachusetts on Monday, Gregory Hillman, 21, thanked them for everything they’d done for him.

But he just couldn’t go on anymore. He was going to the Atlantic to drown himself.

However, his anguished family believes that Gregory may have found his way to Providence –– a city he has loved since he toured the Brown University campus as a teenager.

“He always said he’d like to live in Providence,” said his father, Peter Hillman.

Hillman called The Journal on Thursday afternoon, on the chance that someone in Rhode Island may spot his son and help save his life. He’s been missing since Tuesday morning. Gregory has bipolar disorder and has been hospitalized off and on for his illness over the last few years, his father said.

“He’s a gentle soul. He’s no threat to anyone but himself,” said Peter Hillman.

After leaving the note and sending the e-mails, Gregory escaped from Gould Farm, a psychiatric facility in Monterey, Mass., but was found a mile away, his father said. He was taken first to Berkshire Medical Center, in Pittsfield, Mass., and then was being transferred by ambulance to North Adams Regional Hospital, which has 24-hour supervision for those with mental illness.

When the ambulance pulled up to the hospital, Gregory got out and ran, his father said. The police in North Adams, Mass., searched for him and a police dog was able to track his scent into the woods, Peter Hillman said. But the trail ended at a main road, Hillman said. He had just $40 in his pockets and no ID or credit cards, Hillman said. They believe he may be hitching rides, on his way to end his life.

All the police and his family have are his suicide notes and two maps that Gregory printed out. One shows the New Haven, Conn., area –– the Hillman family is from Darien, Conn., and North Pownal, Vt.

The other map shows Providence. Gregory left the maps but took the directions with him, Peter Hillman said.

The young man’s interest in Providence began when he was a high school student, and his father took him to look at Brown University.

“We came to Providence just one time,” Peter Hillman said. “He absolutely fell in love with Providence and Brown.”

Gregory ended up going to Reed College in Portland, Ore., with the goal of becoming an architect, Peter Hillman said. But after his freshman year, Gregory’s mental illness asserted itself. He never returned to college.

Gregory Hillman is 5 feet 10 inches tall, weighs 165 pounds, and has blue eyes, brown hair, a medium beard and a scar on his forehead. He was last seen wearing a brown and maroon horizontal striped sweatshirt and gold sweatpants. Anyone who sees Gregory or has information about him is asked to call their local police department or the North Adams Police Department, (413) 664-4944.

In his note and e-mails, Gregory talked about getting to the water. His father said he knows what his troubled son was thinking.

“He said he wanted to take his life in a way that wouldn’t hurt anybody,” Peter Hillman said.

amilkovi@projo.com