Someone bid $14 million for an item on eBay a few weeks ago, but the Web site canceled the auction. They decided the seller wasn’t authorized. He was trying to auction off the nation of Belgium.

He was a citizen there who later explained he was disgusted by his country’s political deadlocks, so he thought he’d unload the place.

My own reaction was that we can learn from this. The last I looked, Rhode Island was facing a $300-million deficit. There has been a lot of debate on how to close the gap. The answer may well be eBay.

Today, I offer a way to list us:

For Sale:

Unique piece of New England real estate often described as the size of an arctic ice shelf, Texas ranch or U.S. military base.

Founded 371 years ago by a difficult cast of characters expelled from neighboring states, it was the first of 13 colonies to renounce the crown. It later became the last to ratify the Constitution. This is not inconsistent, as Rhode Islanders do not like to be told what to do. The state was once famously described by writer H.P. Lovecraft as “That universal haven of the odd, the free and the dissenting.”

Unlike the pantywaists in Boston who merely tossed tea in their harbor to protest taxation, Rhode Islanders once burnt down an entire British tax ship. Oddly, now that locals are in control of the state treasury, Rhode Island may be the most heavily taxed state anywhere.

Hopes for saner tax policy rest with the General Assembly, an evenly balanced body that is 85-percent Democratic. The Democrats, however, are independent thinkers who guarantee they will only vote what “they” feel is right. In this case, the word “they” means “unions.”

The upside for the high bidder is that unlike other states, which are increasingly crowded, studies predict that 74 percent of the local population will soon move to Florida (otherwise known as Flahridder) because it has no income tax.

Rhode Island is home to a stunning bay, one of the great collections of colonial architecture, the best beaches in New England and the world’s biggest termite, which happens to be blue.

It is the birthplace of religious freedom, Mr. Potato Head and the nation’s most highly compensated crossing guards.

It is thought to be the only state with its own shellfish.

If you would like a cup of Dunkin’ Donuts coffee, you will never have to drive more than two blocks.

It is small enough that sooner or later, you will personally run into the state’s most powerful celebrities, such Bob Tasca Jr. or Nick, Ron and Pete.

And you can always get a good restaurant table here on Saturday nights if you “know a guy.”

The General Assembly has been the center of what is described as our lively experiment in freedom. State legislators have for centuries debated the great issues, notably whether Del’s lemonade or coffee milk should be the official state drink. Coffee milk prevailed.

Roughly 40 by 30 miles, Rhode Island is considered an ultra-compact oddity. It was infamously described by the Wall Street Journal as a “smudge on the fast lane to Cape Cod.” A visitor from England once asked of Rhode Island: “It’s a curious little state. Is it necessary?” This no doubt refers to how one could fit 483 Rhode Islands into a single Alaska.

But unlike larger states, Rhode Island’s size offers the opportunity to be governed efficiently. This opportunity has not quite been realized on account of the state having 39 cities and towns, and almost as many school districts. But a commission is now studying consolidation and should offer proposals to the General Assembly by the year 2020. The proposals will then be referred to committee until 2040.

Finally, the million residents of the state are its greatest asset. They are a friendly people known to often wave at passing motorists with one finger. They are a frugal people who will not pay a dime over $10,000 for a low-number license plate. They are a casual people who regard stop signs as suggestions and turning signals as optional. They are not prone to panic, unless it snows.

This and more can be all yours.

The high offer will prevail, but we’ll start at an ultra-affordable $1.

The winner will get all of the above.

And though we have to put one more item in for legal reasons, no need to bother with details so please disregard the following: item includes $300-million deficit, a crushing pension burden and no political will to resolve it.

Happy bidding.

mpatinkin@projo.com