Thoughts At Large:

• As far as that photo of Tom Brady in an ankle brace toadying up to Gisele Bundchen by bringing her posies, what hope is there for the average man when even an injured Super Bowl-bound quarterback has to cater to his demanding babe?

• Stanley O’Neal, the ex-head of Merrill Lynch, was booted for losing billions betting on the garbage now known as sub-prime loans. His punishment? An estimated $161-million sendoff package. The issue isn’t even that he didn’t deserve it, it’s that Wall Street rewards CEOs who mess up not just their own house, but the economy, which is why they don’t care if they do it.

• Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke looks as if he doesn’t know what hit him.

• Did you read about the Hummer owner who allegedly tried to bribe a Rhode Island state trooper in December for $2,000 to get out of a ticket? I’m thinking he picked the wrong organization.

• Which reminds me: The three things I’m most afraid of on this earth are: quicksand, flesh-eating disease, and the Rhode Island State Police.

• With all the tools medical science now has, couldn’t Women & Infants look over its expectant couples next Dec. 31 and schedule a less controversial first baby of the year?

• I saw a great description of Bill Clinton the other day: He’s become the Little League dad in the stands heckling the other team’s pitcher.

• Is it gray or grey?

• I recently ran into a French horn player who said that when he practices for a long time, he puts a newspaper on the floor under the spit valve. I hope that answers critics who say newspapers are obsolete. Try that with a computer.

• It’s all well and good to give every youth athlete a sports trophy and to advance failing students to the next grade, but I’m thinking they’ll be a bit shocked when they get jobs and realize that employers don’t care whether you feel good about yourself.

• News Item: “Kerry endorses Obama.” Small print: “Support for Obama soars by .001 percent.”

• Don’t you love junk e-mails asking if you want to block junk e-mails?

• Telling quote: “If cats could talk, they wouldn’t.”

• Call me a chauvinist, but when Web sites ask me to list “country,” it’s kind of annoying that when I hit the “U” key, Ukraine comes up before USA.

• Though in my case, I think Ukraine is ancestrally accurate.

• And nothing against the Ukraine, but I sure am glad my granddaddy got on that boat.

• How did they ever figure out they needed a leap year once every four years to allow the Earth’s orbit to catch up to the calendar?

• I’m pretty sure that when actors are described as “developing projects,” it means they’re unemployed.

• Remember when celebrity actresses announced they were expecting a baby with their husband instead of their boyfriend?

• Give John McCain credit, he seems to have a habit in his life of being given up for dead and coming back to life.

• Radio headline after the announcement of a possible Amtrak strike: “Commuting to Boston may soon become a headache.” You mean as opposed to the way it is now?

• I don’t care how many high-tech winter layers you wear, it’s hard to ski in 25-below wind-chill.

• Speaking of which, while watching the 30-below Green Bay game, I kept waiting for the football to crack.

• And how could those players’ mothers have allowed them to go out in that weather in short sleeves?

• Did you catch Giants Coach Tom Coughlin yelling at kicker Lawrence Tynes after he missed a field goal? Way to buck up your players, coach.

• You have to believe that the first human brilliant enough to “program” written language on cave walls 20,000 years ago would today have been Microsoft’s chief technology officer.

• I don’t know about you, but when I go over the Mount Hope Bridge with those low rails, I’m tempted to close my eyes.

• Best line of the campaign so far: When asked if Bill Clinton was really the first black president, Barack Obama said that to answer, he’d have to explore how well Clinton dances.

• To borrow phraseology from sportscaster Warner Wolf: “If you had Apple stock at $200 last month and held on to it, you lost.” (It recently dropped below $130.)

• Great question sent in by a reader: “How come illegal immigrants who work for minimum wage are able to send so much money back home?”

• Finally, when Governor Carcieri gives a State of the State address accurately declaring that we are on the brink of no return if we don’t start reining in a $450-million deficit, and the first reaction from unions and the legislature is resistance, Florida begins to look like a pretty good move, doesn’t it?

mpatinkin@projo.com