I’ve found it odd that curling is an Olympic sport, and golf isn’t.

That synchronized swimming is in, but lacrosse is out.

That you can win a gold for badminton, but not for rugby, squash or karate.

I suppose that could change since those sports have been lobbying to join the Olympics.

Meanwhile, something got me thinking about still more categories that should be considered.

I saw an ad for a used bookstore called Cellar Stories on Mathewson Street in downtown Providence. I’ve been in there a number of times, and almost always felt I “won” by achieving a fulfilling goal: I found something I wasn’t looking for.

Cellar Stories seemed to be aware of this, and in its ad, came up with a telling phrase to describe itself:

“Home of US Olympic Browsing Team.”

I think they’re onto something. Book browsing, when done right, is a skilled sport, involving quick eyes, and an ability to zero in on targets others might miss. It takes endurance. Many browsers give up early and head to Starbucks, like marathon runners who bag it at mile 13. Also, you need to know how much time to give each prospect — reading the first paragraph, and moving on quickly if it doesn’t grab you.

It’s not the only unorthodox “sport” that should be considered for the next Games.

Personally, I’d add the related skill of channel-surfing, which, as with many Olympic sports, involves mastering the equipment. The standout channel-surfer, for example, knows how to position himself just-so in his La-Z-Boy. Once settled in, you need the correct arm angle for perfect line-of-sight between remote and television. As everyone knows, if you let your wrist sag and aim wrong, the TV doesn’t respond. There’s no room for that in head-to-head competition.

Of course, you need to master the TV menu, and depending on whether its cable or satellite, know just how to jump around the Guide. Pros realize you don’t peruse that guide a channel at a time — you train your eye to absorb eight listings at once, and “page” down. In the Olympics, extra points would be given to those who find the two shows they most want to watch, with top athletes microseconds in front of others at hitting the “last” button at commercial breaks to toggle between them. To test ability to stay focused under stress, I’d have the sport played out in a “real” situation, with “family members” on an adjacent couch yelling things like, “will you quit jumping around so much.”

I know we have only a week or so before the 2008 Games begin, but given the Beijing venue, I’d suggest we try to get a new sport on the schedule, one that despite its name would probably find the strongest team in America: Ordering Chinese take-out.

There would be a 3-2-1 countdown with athletes at phones each needing to order for an impatient group. There would be huge pressure to memorize “the usual” instead of consulting a menu, but with the added stress of visitors throwing in special requests. For example, in addition to standards like fried wonton, steamed dumplings, boneless spare ribs, spring rolls, lo-mein and beef-and-peapods, there might be an unexpected call for Kung Pao Chicken, points added for ordering it as Kung Pao Chi Ting.

Similarly, points would be detracted for the common misstep of not asking for extra white rice. Competitors would have to grapple with the tense question of whether to order from a nearby restaurant that might have a longer wait, or one further away that could be quicker — but with the farther drive.

Also, athletes will all find, when they rush back through the door with bags in hand, that their diners are watching TV, having neglected to set the table. Competitors will need to do that, too, facing the hard decision of whether you line up the white cartons in front of diners, or on the counter, since clean-up will also be clocked. Those who badly over-order will face the additional time-challenge of having to stuff excess cartons into an over-full refrigerator. Anyone running out of Duck sauce will be instantly disqualified.

Finally, I’d try to reach out to a new generation of athletes by adding the sport of texting. This seems a natural, honoring the Olympic spirit of dexterity and precision. There would be two rounds, one on pure speed, with those sending the most texts in a 10-minute period making the final cut. The championship round would be more difficult with athletes having to punch out texts under the dinner table while stand-in “parents” are unaware; or in conversation, holding the phone secretly at their side, below the waist. As in real life, texters will have to show that their priority is communicating with the absent person who just texted them instead of the “live” person they’re with. Extra points will be given to those who use no punctuation, no capital letters and insider abbreviations, like using imho instead of “in my humble opinion.”

I hope to see these sports either in Vancouver in 2010 or London in 2012.

In each — channel surfing, takeout ordering and texting — I guarantee America will be in the medals.

mpatinkin@projo.com