By the time we began planning a wedding, we — like many American couples — already shared a home and had packed it with the stuff of most wedding registries: sheets, towels, china — even a stainless-steel rice cooker. So when friends asked where we planned to register for our wedding gifts, we blanked.

As a middle-aged pair, we have everything for married life — everything, that is, except the cash for a fabulous honeymoon. A friend who knows we rarely take exotic vacations suggested that we register for one. Given the cost of a honeymoon in 2008 — $3,805, according to The Wedding Report, a Phoenix, Ariz., wedding-industry research firm — the concept makes sense. The firm projects that wedding guests in 2008 will pay an average of $96 apiece for a gift — a price that, if multiplied, could send us off in style. But are honeymoon registries, well, tasteful?

“A honeymoon is a perfectly appropriate gift to request,” says Peter Post, president of the Emily Post Institute, a Burlington, Vt., etiquette think tank. “There’s no objection to it from an etiquette point of view.”

Post advises that couples who are registering for a honeymoon also select nonhoneymoon gift options in the event some guests feel awkward funding a vacation. Thus counseled, we reviewed the many services that help couples take a honeymoon itinerary and itemize it into “gift-able” components for wedding guests to give.

We tested the concept with our planned honeymoon in Spain and Morocco by registering at services including HoneyLuna, Traveler’s Joy, The Big Day, Honeymoon Wishes and Send Us Off.

The honeymoon registry industry has been around for more than a decade and has become crowded, with at least 10 companies offering registries that let newlyweds determine their own trips. (Lodging companies and tour companies also offer registries, but let a couple register only for those companies’ lodging or tour products.) Most open-ended registries follow the same format: Couples register online as they would at a retailer, choosing from honeymoon “merchandise” (a night in a hotel, dinner) and then creating a shopping list for their honeymoon’s components.

Unlike a retail registry, however, these services let couples edit their list to reflect their use of gift items — in our case, theater tickets became bullfight tickets.

Couples can also take a single big-ticket item (i.e., $1,000 round-trip airfare) and break it into a request for 20 gifts of $50 toward airfare to make this gift affordable for guests. Once guests choose and pay for items, the services notify the wedding couple. Services then forward funds to the newlyweds within days, weeks, or months of the wedding.

The services basically aggregate cash for couples: Guests don’t literally buy those bullfight tickets or the airfare, but rather choose bullfights and airfare as the element of the honeymoon they wish to fund.

Ultimately, the wedding couple will take the sum of funds provided by their registry and deploy it as they wish. This means the services are essentially a honeymoon-themed front for collecting wedding cash — but one that’s much more palatable than a couple just asking for money outright from guests.

The services do charge fees — they charge the guests, the wedding couple, or both. The services host the registry online and all but Send Us Off offer phone-based customer service (for guests who prefer to buy a gift offline). All offer travel-agency service through their own agents or agent partners.

Fees tend to start in the 7 percent range (Traveler’s Joy, Send Us Off, Honeymoon Wishes), or they may vary based on the dollar amount of a guest’s gift. HoneyLuna charges 9 percent for registry services. It charges 15 percent if couples also use site-affiliated agents to book their trip. The Big Day charges both guests and newlyweds, making guests pay a 3 percent transaction fee and then skimming 7 percent off the wedding couple’s total take — a percentage that is lowered for honeymooners who book their travel via affiliated agents. Honeymoon Wishes lets couples decide who pays the 7 percent fee — them or their guests.

Knowing they compete with one another, many services offered lists detailing how they differ from “other registry services.” But for us, the main differences involved setup and aesthetics.

With setup, sites either offered prepopulated registries from which you could delete or customize items, or they offered empty or pared-down registries to which you could add items. We preferred the latter approach, as the first was time-consuming and, we found, a little overwhelming.How honeymoon registries compare

HoneyLuna.com; www.honeyluna.com

SETUP: Newlyweds can create a free registry, pay $150 for HoneyLuna help with creating a registry, or pay $100 for help plus travel-agent services.

GUEST EXPERIENCE: Guests choose and pay for gifts and no fees are levied on giving.

COST TO NEWLYWEDS: Honeymooners receive funds total minus 9 percent (free registry) or minus 15 percent (registry plus travel service).

COMMENT: Ability to see sample registries helps with registry creation; prepopulated gift fields are excessive; travel-agency services available.

Traveler’s Joy; www.travelersjoy.com

SETUP: Step-by-step process was easy; viewing other registries for ideas is a plus, as are custom features such as adding couple photos.

GUEST EXPERIENCE: No charge to guests.

COST TO NEWLYWEDS: A 7.5 percent service fee.

COMMENT: WeddingChannel.com makes registry searchable and makes it easy for couple to register for nonhoneymoon items, too. Registry is “live” up to one year postwedding.

The Big Day; www.thebigday.com

SETUP: Couples can copy or use suggested registry items, or work from scratch to create their lists.

GUEST EXPERIENCE: Guests pay a 3 percent transaction fee on their gifts.

COST TO NEWLYWEDS: 7 percent service fee, but fee reduced if travel booked via Big Day.

COMMENT: Travel-agency services available. Registry remains “live” until couple requests shutdown.

Honeymoon Wishes; www.honeymoonwishes.com

SETUP: Guests select (or deselect) items from a predeveloped list of activities to place on their registry.

GUEST EXPERIENCE: None, unless couple opts for guests to pay 7 percent fee in lieu of their having it removed from total gift proceeds.

COST TO NEWLYWEDS: 7 percent off of total proceeds.

COMMENT: Nice that couple chooses where fees are applied. Registry active until couple requests shutdown. Registry includes wedding minisite, blog and album.

Send Us Off; www.sendusoff.com

SETUP: Setup was easy. Couples choose categories (travel, lodging) and then itemize gifts within those categories.

GUEST EXPERIENCE: No fees. Registry appearance is somewhat dull, but easy to use.

COST TO NEWLYWEDS: 7.5 percent service fee.

COMMENT: Registry stays open up to 12 months past wedding date. Guests can give a gift online but no phone number is available for those who want to pay by phone.