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moderator: Journal staff writer Mark Arsenault and photographer
John Freidah have spent the last year reporting stories about people
in midlife. Join them Tuesday, July 11 at noon for an online discussion about
these stories and your own.
Submit own question now.
Mark Arsenault: This series was created by Journal photojournalist
John Freidah, about a year ago. Freidah, 44, had been thinking about
the issues of midlife, somewhat brought on by the loss of his father three
years ago. In pitching this series to the editors at the paper, he offered
a vision of a package of stories and photographs that would work together
to illustrate the universal issues of midlife.
Freidah and reporter Mark Arsenault, 39, started the series merely by talking
to people in midlife, which we defined vaguely as 40ish to late 50s. It was important
to us to speak to as many people as possible, letting them define the issues and
telling us their stories. We spent a lot in the early days of the project at "singles"
events for people in the age group we were interested in. We talked to scores
of people on the phone. Eventually, we learned how to interview people about midlife,
and felt more qualified to speak to these issues.
The key was not asking people directly about "midlife," but finding
people in that time and asking them about the issues of their lives. None of the
13 stories in this package mention the term midlife in the text. What resulted
was stories of joy, sadness and, frequently, change.
sleddog: Not all changes have been good. Do you have any not so positive
stories?
Mark Arsenault: Dear Sled,
Thank you for your question.
You are correct, not every aspect of midlife is positive. In week one of the series,
we met Joanne Angeloro at a difficult moment, cleaning out her mother's house
about five weeks after her mom had died. In the coming weeks, we have additional
stories about loss and mortality, illness and loneliness. We tried to strike a
balance with these issues and a celebration of the victories of midlife. And even
within the more solemn stories, we have tried to show how people struggle through
the challenges, and emerge, humanity intact.
Notquite40: Did this series make you more or less anxious about your
own mid-years?
Mark Arsenault and John Freidah:
Dear Notquite40,
Thanks for the question.
Like you, I (Mark) am not quite 40. (40 next January) Doing this series may
have accelerated my thoughts about this time of life. Things that I used to
know intellectually - like that a lifetime is not an eternity - I now know
in my heart, too. And I have realized while doing this project the past year
that the ONLY thing any of us has that is truly valuable is time. I never
waste it anymore. I invest it. -Mark
As the elder of this team (John), and with the loss of my dad three years
ago, I had already thought about my own mortality and what's on the horizon.
Through this series I have become much more open-minded to how people react
and actions they take in midlife. And now believe, if you're not hurting anyone,
more power to you. Also, I was inspired by some of the people and their stories
in this series. --John
Still around: Was there anything that the people you interviewed
asked you not to print?
Mark Arsenault and John Freidah: We conferred on this, and neither of us can think
of anything substantial. As reporters, we're always respectful in this kind of
story. We don't want to write about anybody who doesn't want to participate. We
spent a lot of time building trust with the people we wrote about. Thanks for
the question.
ken: I was the victim of a wife who decided to make changes and tossed
verything she had including me, the house, the dogs, and everything in it
and she didn't know what for except that she wanted something "differen!t"
Mark Arsenault and John Freidah: Dear Ken, Thanks for the comment. Sorry for your
loss. Certainly your situation is another story and consequence of midlife. We
don't have a piece coming up that exactly corresponds - we wish we did -- however
we have an upcoming story about a divorced dad that you may find speaks to you.
sleddog: What about people whose lives were perhaps unfortunately
changed by the people making the changes
Mark Arsenault and John Freidah: Sleddog, Thanks for participating! I think your
point is echoed by Ken, who just posted his comment. That is an aspect of midlife.
I wish we had better examples. But you'll be the judge in the coming weeks as
to how well we did.
Notquite40: If you didn't ask them directly about midlife, what did you tell them
you were interviewing them about?
Mark Arsenault and John Freidah: Dear notquite, We were upfront with people that
the overall project was about midlife. But in interviewing them, we concentrated
on their lives and what they were doing, or what changes they were making. Thank
you.
Mark Arsenault and John Freidah: This is one of our favorite projects here at the paper. We enjoyed interviewing, photographing and writing about our readers - people who generally don't get written about all the time. And that's why we thought the project would resonate with a huge slice of the paper's audience, and generate feelings that we're all in this together.
Mark Arsenault and John Freidah: Thanks, everyone, for joining our chat. Coming
this Sunday, we'll introduce a woman dedicated to making sure her elderly father
does not feel alone; a guy who changed his life with a hair transplant; and a
married couple who grew together, into midlife. --John and Mark
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