01:00 AM EDT on Sunday, April 30, 2006

"I laugh every day," says East Lyme, Conn., Middle School principal Paul Freeman. Shrugging at his own uncommon appreciation of pubescents, he adds, "I like the age level." Like jalapenos, though, middle-school kids are not to everyone's taste. (I love them.)

Being the parent of a middle-schooler is often a huge pain, what with struggling to keep structure and limits on a kid whose biological mandate is to be free of dorky parents and their clueless rules. Teaching them can also be a challenge, but funny and fascinating as well. The key to middle-schoolers is to know that they are very much their own animal and need to be treated as such. They are not little kids anymore. A pubescent undergoes as much psychological, social, emotional and physical change as does a baby from birth to two.

East Lyme Middle School is a superb model for how to educate pubescents compassionately and with academic rigor.

In February, Freeman sends letters to the parents of the fourth graders in the three East Lyme elementary schools, inviting them to a series of three meetings, a week apart, to learn about the programs at the middle school, which starts at fifth grade. They come in droves. One of the few complaints about the gorgeous new facility is that there is not enough parking for parents. Other schools should have problems like too much parent participation.

Before the presentation, parents wander the hallways and encounter the school's unusual "kivas" -- a native American term for communal gathering area -- each of which serves as the learning home for one of the 11 teams of 80 to 100 kids and their teachers.

At the center of the kiva space is a little amphitheater where the whole team can have a morning meeting, see a video, make a presentation or have a speaker. Naturally, break-out groups can also work on projects in this largish space. Surrounding each of these amphitheaters are that team's lockers, lavatories, offices, a 20-computer lab, and classrooms, some of which have removable walls to expand the space.

The kivas eliminate teacher competition for communal space and greatly limit "passing" down hallways between classes -- and the adolescent behavior that goes with it -- because the kiva is naturally supervised by the team occupying it.

Eventually, the new parents gather in the large cafetorium where they are introduced to three big ideas. First they hear a little about the nature and characteristics of the early adolescent, ages 10 to 14. Middle-schoolers shift their focus from their families to their friends, and that can be brutal for parents. But the school's advisory program will look after the kids and triangulate with the parent when the need arises. Guidance counselors can help parents who are going nuts with their rebel, space shot, clothes-hound or whatever they happen to draw. It's a complicated, unappreciated and misunderstood time of life. Among other things, Freeman recommends two books: The Roller Coast Years and Yard Sticks to help parents bone up on what's coming.

Secondly, parents get a 101 lesson in the nature of a true middle school. If you're curious, the Carnegie Foundation's "Turning Points" gives a concise explanation of the specific strategies that work best with pubescents.

In the midst of all of their changes, these kids have a lot on their minds. Little things -- a spat with a friend, hating her nose and the multitude of overblown embarrassments -- occupy a kid's mind to the point where he or she is just not listening.

In the middle-school model, teachers are always teamed together both to case-manage individual kids and to collaborate on integrating their respective subject areas so kids can see big ideas -- justice, poverty, the threats to water quality -- from different points of view. All kids must meet the same state standards, but these team collaborations allow teachers to be maximally creative about how to arrest their particular group's attention. Among other things, tailoring curricula to the kids helps them feel heard and seen, which is critical at this period in their lives. The middle-school model did not catch on more commonly because teaming, teacher collaboration and advisories, just to name a few features, require a radical restructuring and rethinking of conventional schools, institutions famously resistant to change.

Lastly, parents learn that the middle school has three schools-within-the school. They have choices. I maintain strongly that genuine parental involvement starts with school choice. Parents need to shop a little and make a decision as to what would best suit their child.

The Ocean House (East Lyme is on Long Island Sound) has a multi-age teaming structure. Fifth and sixth graders are grouped together, as are seventh and eighth. This house even has one team, the Seadogs, that has all four grades in it at once. Multi-age has become popular at middle school because the larger age-range of kids helps oddballs fit in. Who knows what grade the very developed girl or tiny, underdeveloped boy is supposed to be in? Similarly, special-education students feel they stand out less and gifted kids don't run into the limits of what grade they are in.

Bay House loops, meaning that fifth and sixth grades stay with the same teachers for two years and then get a second set of four core teachers for seventh and eighth grades. Looping eliminates the getting-to-know-you time at the top of the second year, allowing the teachers to pick right up where they left off. I marvel that looping isn't more widely used in grades K-8, but parents and teachers sometimes worry about being stuck for two years with potentially unpleasant teachers or children with tough families. Since East Lyme doesn't have substandard teachers, and the school has such excellent social and emotional support for the kids, teachers don't worry about getting stuck with a nightmare they can't handle. Besides, they work in teams, so they are in it together anyway.

Lastly, the Sound House is a traditional single-grade teaming structure, so its entire fifth grade is a team, the sixth and so on.

Just as with any school-choice system, not every request can be honored. Houses and teams need to reflect the demographics of the school as a whole. If the incoming class is 60 percent girls, each house and team needs to be so as well.

Even as he goes over the options, Freeman emphasizes what's the same about those houses -- same curriculum, assessments and rigorous standards.

Having absorbed all that, the parents come back a week later just to ask questions. This year 200 parents stayed for three hours.

Finally, another week later, parents and kids come for what is essentially an expo of the "life arts" programs, which include performances by the orchestra, band, chorus, exhibitions of art, booths for the foreign languages and so forth.

By the way, the school's per-pupil expenditure is $9,527. Rhode Island's average is $11,980. Connecticut teachers are paid at least as well. How you spend the money determines the quality of your program, not merely the quantity of money.

This school deserves widespread emulation.

Julia Steiny is a former member of the Providence School Board; she consults and writes for a number of education, government and private enterprises. She welcomes your questions and comments on education. She can be reached by e-mail at juliasteiny@cox.net or c/o The Providence Journal, 75 Fountain St., Providence, R.I. 02902.