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"Mommy, what's
happening?": What to tell your child
How should a parent respond
to a child who is confused, scared and asking, "Mommy, what's happening?"
in the wake of the attacks.
It's very important for
parents to consider a child's age, says Dr. James Greer, Clinical Director of
The Providence Center's Child & Family Program. "Children of different
ages are prepared to hear and deal with different levels of information. A typical
12-year-old is prepared to hear more details about the event and view more images
on television. They have the capacity to understand more of the information
being conveyed. A 5-year-old needs to hear the information much differently,
in simpler terms," says Greer.
When a young child asks
about the event, Dr. Greer suggests that parents tell their children that something
very bad has happened because some people were very angry and full of hate.
Parents need to emphasize that these types of bad events don't happen often;
it is a terrible thing, but not an everyday thing. The most important job of
parents is to reassure children that they are safe at home and at school, says
Dr. Greer.
This type of answer doesn't
cast blame on any person or ethnic group. "I'm very concerned that this incident
will inspire in people very negative feelings about certain ethnic groups, and
that parents may convey these negative feelings to children," says Dr. Greer.
"I would suggest that parents keep discussions involving these kinds of feelings
away from children because it could result in children feeling suspicious and
fearful of certain people."
Dr. Greer also recommends
that parents limit how much television coverage children are watching, since
repeatedly viewing images can not only be emotionally disturbing to children,
but it also may result in the trivialization of the tragedy.
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