THE MEDIC

KYLA Cannon got out of the National Guard last September.

At a coffee shop inside a Warwick bookstore, she struggles to explain how her 14-month National Guard deployment changed her.

"I wanted to do nursing, and then you go over there and do all that stuff and by the time you come back ..."

She pauses.

"Do you know what I mean when I say my nerves are shot? I can't go through stressful situations anymore. I always had to think on my toes and act on instinct. It wears on you all day, every day, living like that."

After graduating from Narragansett High School in 1997, she served four years of active duty in the Army, which included medic training after boot camp. She joined the Rhode Island National Guard in 2001, for the travel and for college tuition benefits.

"It sounds bad but I don't want the responsibility that comes with nursing, and the lives that you have in your hands. It's hard to explain and it feels like I'm not living my dreams or whatever, but in a way I already did over there.

"I don't want to be responsible for people's lives anymore."

She is studying at the Career Education Institute, in Lincoln, to be a medical assistant. She is 25 years old.