08/01/2003

The faithful will descend on Foxboro's Gillette Stadium, rain or shine, over the next two nights to see their spiritual leader.

No, not Tom Brady. Bruce Springsteen, who's playing two concerts at the site.

There’s no middle ground with legendary rocker Springsteen. People are either obsessed with him, or he does nothing for them.

Enough people are preoccupied with the boy from New Jersey to fill the venue for two nights and shout "Bruuuuce" until they lose their voices. They’ll also fill Fenway Park for the first time next month, when The Boss returns to the area.And some fans may be at both.

It’s not uncommon for his fans to attend three, four or five concerts in a row.

"Hey, forget the rent. The Boss is coming to the Meadowlands."

And these aren’t just kids. (Who else could afford to spend $55 to $75 or so for tickets night after night?) Some longtime fans, now in their 40s and 50s, are even bringing their children along.

I didn’t get a chance to reply, so here's my shot at defining the Springsteen fan who's gotten a little carried away. (By the way, I, too, suffer from a few of these symptoms):

• It's your secret dream that some day Springsteen will extend his hand down into the front row and invite you to dance on stage with him, the way he did in that video with with Courteney Cox -- even though you're a 250-pound man.

• You insist that Springsteen's version of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" is the best Christmas carol ever made, better even than Bing Crosby's "White Christmas."

• You tell people that you know of at least one cool guy in this world named Bruce. Hey, you even know of a cool guy named Clarence.

• You've named your sons Bruce and Clarence.

• And you've named your daughter Rosalita.

• You dumped your first girlfriend because she kept asking, "What's so great about this Springsteen guy?" You married your wife only after she got seven out of 10 right on your "Name that Springsteen Tune" quiz.

• You have a soft spot in your heart for all women from New Jersey because they're all Jersey girls.

• You insist that "Mary Queen of Arkansas" is a good song. (You refuse to acknowledge that even Springsteen has done some bad songs.)

• In high school, you grew a scraggly beard like the one Springsteen wore when he made "The Wild, the Innocent and the E Street Shuffle." You grew it not just because it was the only kind of beard you could grow at 16, but because it was just like Springsteen's.

• You don't acknowledge that Springsteen might be just a little bit geeky for calling a fastball a "speedball" in his song "Glory Days."

• You stand for three hours in the rain to hear Springsteen sing songs you've heard hundreds of times before, songs you've got in $300 worth of CDs sitting in your dry living room at home.

Sound like you? I'll see you there.